Ms. LizzyBeth's Entropy Checklist

Brain Slug

2011-07-17T22:56:00.004-04:00

For those who do not have me on Facebook (don't worry, you are not alone, I axed 160+ people a few weeks ago) this is my current profile picture. I managed to get this snapshot of my brainslug before it exploded after making the mistake of attaching itself to my mind. I'm going to be picking slimy tentacle out of my hair for a week, and while that may be erotic in an anime/porn type way (nobody beats the Japanese for casually presented weirdness) it is quite less pleasant in real life.

(Afterthoughts)
A less pleasant reality does not necessarily make the fantasy itself pleasant by default, but anyways, I guess someone must like that sort of stuff otherwise it wouldn't be so damn popular, right?!?

MCMLXXIV

2011-05-12T10:36:00.000-04:00

Three years shy of four decades ago a legend was birthied upon this great grand land of America. Even as a child she stood spittin' distance from a mile tall and wandered this wide land far and, um, wide, with her giant blue ox Babe planted apple trees in every state (except Alaska and Hawaii because they were inconvenient to walk to), stole a chunk of glacier from Canada to make the ice sculpture of four leader's heads for the blueprint rough draft of Mt. Rushmore (which melted before they finished the monument and had to leave off the bitchin' fighting dragons that made up the background), taught sharks how to swim up the Mississippi River in order to fight with alligators for her amusement, traumatized the firefly species so badly that they lost their nerve to stay lit up and could only nervously blink flash their light forever afterwards, and wore boxing gloves made of live piranhas to every gun fight she was challenged to and subsequently won because anyone tough enough to to wear those is not bothered by eating a few bullets to win a fight right before being crowned the beauty pageant winner.

Her name is Elizabeth Amber Sheetz, born on Mother's Day, May 12th, 1974, and turns 37 today. Wish her a Happy Birthday .... if you dare, MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(Afterthoughts)
Um, what more could I possibly add at this point and still remain humble and modest...

Card Games

2011-05-09T14:28:00.004-04:00

The cardsharp pony always had an ace up her sleeve while winning chips against the poker playing dogs and never broke a sweat staying cool as a cucumber being Secret dry which works great on women whom it was made for and with which it's effectiveness is obvious since it also worked so well on a horse.

(Afterthoughts)
I had that thought running through my mind when I woke up in the middle of the night and it was interesting enough for me to scribble down on the notepad I leave beside my bed. Still is random nonsense however.

Bootleg Bootylicious

2011-03-14T17:28:00.002-04:00

If you can't afford the delicious goodness of a PS3 then here is your cheaper alternative. It looks just like a Dr. Evil tiny clone version and I want one just because it is cute even if it is virtually unplayable.

(Afterthoughts)
By cheaper I meant that you should just grab the cash out of your purse and set it on fire because the flames will give you more entertainment and enjoyment than playing that game will, er, or so I have heard...

Jackpot

2011-02-22T12:29:00.002-05:00

Now the title does not mean that I won the lottery (unfortunately) because like the ads say, "y'all gotta play ta win." What it does refer to however, is a game the middle child nephew (2 of 3) invented. It is a ball catching game that takes at least 3 people to play (rules to follow shortly).

The player configuration for everyone to be located is with the ball thrower to be at the apex of a triangle shape with the potential catchers at the base. Before tossing the ball, he must yell out a couple of variables. First is either 'high' or 'ground,' meaning that it will be in the air or rolled along the ground (simple). Next is 'mystery box,' 'points,' or 'jackpot.' The points are essentially arbitrary, but the mystery box (which is the most often chosen) has 2 results which are not revealed unless the ball is caught which are 'mummy' and 'glue shoes.' Mummy means that for the next round you have to hold your arms straight out in front you, palms up, with your arms stuck together and have to try to catch the ball like that (which is rather hard from personal experience). Glue shoes means that your feet are stuck to the floor for the next round and you can not move from the spot where you caught the ball. Now if you catch the 'jackpot,' that means that you are now the jackpot which is what the ball thrower is called and now you toss the ball and decide what the ball value and prize is going to be.

All in all, not too bad of a game for an 8 year old to invent.

(Afterthoughts)
Stop sitting around, go grab a ball and 2 people and start playing!!!

Game Break

2011-01-20T12:45:00.002-05:00

I've been sick as hell for the past couple of weeks so since I don't feel like writing much when I am sick, here are video reviews of the weird (really really weird) video game I bought to entertain myself while my body heals like a good little bitch.

(Afterthoughts)
I guess to get the whole story you have to play the game through 3 times, or just look up the answers online.

Is It Really A New Year???....

2011-01-04T01:01:00.002-05:00

In a sense it is not a new year as much as it is in a more conventional sense. By which I mean that when you spy a calendar the date has changed over to 2011 from 2010, but if you consider the actual chronological meaning of the time frame of a year, then for most of you it is not. For a new year to start in the more real sense, that would actually occur upon your birthday since another year of clock time has passed when reaching that point. This is just simply calendar time which we have clicked over on now.

Now there is a tradition that occurs at this time which I strongly disapprove of called "new year's resolutions." If you have fallen pray to making such a thing, I feel sorry for you because they are pure rubbish. My reasoning for that description is not because they are worthy changes to make in one's life, but I see them as such for a more valid line of reasoning.

If you have an important change to make in your life, then you just simply need to make it. Waiting until a new calendar year begins is nothing more than a form of procrastination and an excuse to signify the change with an arbitrary date. Everyone has stuff they want to change about themselves unless they are a megalomaniac, so why not start right away at fixing that instead of using the excuse of waiting for January 1st. That is a two-fold excuse since it is common knowledge that most resolutions eventually fail from people not following through with them. By setting such an important life improving decision at that particular date, you have given yourself an excuse for failing since they are not taken seriously and defeated yourself before even giving it a real chance to succeed.

Granted that there are stories from people that you know who managed to pull off their new year goal, but those are grossly overshadowed by the number of people you can personally point out who have utterly given up and failed in the exact same circumstance. When you are ready to make a change to your life, there is no better time than then to do so, and if you are not, then saying that you are just because of the date in the year has doomed you to failure before you even start.

(Afterthoughts)
Don't give in to the pressure to attempt to commit to a change you are not ready for because when you do, you are simply conditioning yourself to accept failure and a sense that you can not change for the better when you really are capable of doing so when the time is right and not just because you had to buy a new calendar.

NUMB3RS

2010-12-08T19:35:00.004-05:00

It is not often that I complain about Facebook, er, OK I actually complain all the time but rarely write about how annoying that site can be because if I did it would quickly turn into a book instead of this sweet, humble blog. The last time I did so was several months ago about the "Boobquake Idiocy." (It's a good post, click the link and read it too.)

The most recent derangement is a fun (assume I wrote fun sarcastically because, um, that is exactly what I did) little game where you email a person with a number and then that person will post an anonymous comment about what they really think about you using the number as an identifier as opposed to something clear, such as an actual name. On the surface, it sounds about as much childish pointlessness as passing a note saying "check this box if you like me, or check this box if you want to rip my guts out with a rusty spork." Then the reality of the game sets in and we start to see where it all goes wrong (even without a rusty spork).

First off, this game can be fun if you are in that same category of people that passed the above-mentioned notes. For the rest of us it is the same as listening to one of our friends chat away on their phone, only being able to catch one side of the conversation. Granted that you have to expect to get stuck reading some of that kind of posting from time to time, but now with this game going on I have to scroll through at least a couple pages of posting in order to maybe (maybe maybe maybe) catch a post that I actually want to read (and those are always hit or miss on a normal day). Might as well call it McFacebook because most of what it is feeding me is worthless fattening fluff with no nutritional value. Sure, some of the juicier bites might taste good but it is only putting unhealthy weight onto your karma and turning your mind into a lethargic lump.

Second, if we assess the game within it's own value system and pretend that it is a valuable and productive pastime, it still breaks down even within it's own rules. The main point of it is that you can receive either validation or refutation about your character anonymously, yet still in a public forum to give it a sort of voyeuristic quality. However (always seems to be a however) the majority of the posts I have seen (and I have seen way too many) have also been "liked." So out of curiosity to see if my suspicions were correct, the people who "liked" those posts were always different people for each of the postings (the few exceptions I found to that were from people who tend to click "like" for everything that people post and were easy to filter out). However (hmmm, another however can't be a good sign) there are a lesser number of people who actually then comment a reply to these posts. While there is no way to be 100% sure that people are giving up their secret identities by doing such replies, it is a safe bet that a high majority actually are because that is how stupid human nature works. If you happen to be playing this game as the poster of secret comments to numbered people I would love for you to read though your posts and count up the number of people who outed themselves compared to the ones who did not and leave me a comment with the totals (even though we wouldn't be able to be sure that you are not "adjusting" your numbers because you obviously like the game and may want to falsify support for it, or not and give us accurate numbers, but who can say for sure with things being so "anonymous").

Thirdly, for playing such a game on what is supposed to be a social site, it is really more of an anti-social game. While games meant for only 2 people are fun for them, it gets rather boring and tiresome watching people play tic-tac-toe, and even more so when you only get to see one persons side of the game.

Fourthly, I have only seen 2 negative posts out of about 100 in the last 2 days. While this does make sense because most people are not Facebook friends with their enemies, it tends to turn the game into more of a sad cry for validation and it seems that they are receiving just that.

(Afterthoughts)
If you need validation that bad, buy a damn puppy!!! (And I am still giggling about the phrase "McFacebook.")

Merry Christmas, or else....

2010-12-08T14:54:00.001-05:00

(Afterthoughts)
If I had a child that is what I totally would expect...

Repeat... repeat... repeat...

2010-11-30T13:53:00.002-05:00

This post is a repeat. That doesn't mean I have written this before but refers instead to something that those who are more tech savvy can only think about with a twitchy eye.

Exactly one week ago, we finally got our internet upgraded out here at my Mom's farm homestead. We were using a usb internet stick from a cell phone company. Now I totally hate those things and did everything I could to talk interested people out of purchasing those when I did my prison time at the AT&T call center (cell phone division, customer service via Alorica), but it was a bit faster than our other option of dial-up (and satellite is too expensive with all the usage restrictions they pile on you). We now have wireless internet, actual wireless internet (not talking about wireless home network) that is kinda like a totally landlocked satellite connection (tower on our house gets a signal from a tower in a town 5 miles away). It's not quite up to what I consider high speed but is still a hella lot better for being dsl's clumsy little brother.

My biggest gripe with it is that I am stuck with a NAT 3 rating when I go online with my PS3 which means online gaming is petty much suckier than a dockside whore. And there is no way to fix it through router reconfiguration cause I have wasted several hours trying. I have not however attempted plugging directly into the system yet since that means moving the PS3 into a different room & I am lazy, but I did attempt wiring directly into one of the wireless routers which theoretically should have given me a NAT 2 rating and still failed to satisfy {insert lame boyfriend joke here}. While disappointing {add a 3rd bad sexual pun} I do have enough toys to keep my happy {enough sucky jokes because 2 is company, 3's a crowd, 4 is too many, & 5's not allowed}.

Now time to address the repetition alluded to earlier. Our internet is piped into the house in a room upstairs. That room is kinda like an entertainment room mostly for my nephews (it's actually my old bedroom) and has directv, a PS2, a Wii, and a computer (tower version). Wiring up the computer to a wireless router (small room, short cable) was simple. Picking up a wireless signal was no trouble for my laptop & PS3 down the hall in my bedroom either. My Mom's computer downstairs is where the trouble began. It is easily within range of the wireless router IF we lived in a more modern (i.e. cheaper built) house. Instead we live in an old farm house built when they made walls by cutting an entire tree into a long rectangle and stacked & mortared them together to make walls before bricking them in to add some polish to the design. While that means that this house will lose its roof several times over before any walls will fall down, it also means that a wireless signal gets kicked in the shin and laughed at for trying to do anything. So the problematic side effect is that I can't get enough of a signal to Mom's computer.

So although I was already using a Belkin N wireless router, there are a few more powerful options that might broadcast stronger, faster, and able to leap multistory building 2 out of 3 attempts. So a couple of trips to Radio Shack buying and then returning the best routers they carried (screw you Netgear) with unsatisfying results, I decided that using a repeater was going to be the best option (see, told you this would be about repeating). Of course no place actually sells those locally, but the max range Netgear (I still hate you Netgear) has a repeater funtion built into it. That was great because otherwise I was going to have to flash software (DD-WRT) to my other Belkin G wireless router to get it to do that and I didn't really want to run the risk of bricking the damn thing if I screwed up a step during that process.

So basically after hours of feeling like Netgear's products would work just as well whole as when smashed into bits from a hammer, I did several more hours of troubleshooting research to discover that wireless repeaters are a pipe dream for a home network due to the lack of standards wireless routers use. The best chance you have is to use the exact same brand and model of routers throughout your entire network, and even then it is still going to be iffy. Hell, even different models of the same type of brand will fail more often than not so using devices manufactured by different companies had me screwed before I even started.

At that point I was ready to flash dd-wrt to my old G router but as luck would have it, the version of the model I have is not compatible with that program (although several other versions of my model actually are, grrrr). Now the Netgear was compatible with that program and although it already did have a setup for wireless repeating (which wouldn't work for me), dd-wrt would work. But that also meant that I would not be able to return it to regain my money and there was a chance I could break it by forcing new firmware into it's spiteful guts.

Last chance I had was to run a cable from the upstairs to the downstairs (which is frowned on in this household) and in order to be clearance from the household boss to do that I had to find a way to get the G router to work as a wired repeater and have it stashed out of sight under a cabinet in the room next to Mom's computer. It took a few different configurations in the router settings (I don't even remember what they are after trying so many different ones on multiple routers) but finally victory was mine, and it only took 5 days to grasp it.

(Afterthoughts)
1) Screw Netgear, 2) If you manage to setup a wireless repeater, immediately go buy a lottery ticket, 3) Screw Netgear.

Zack Attack, er, Dedication

2010-09-30T21:23:00.002-04:00

There once was a man named Zack,
Who tried to teach ducks how to quack,
He had quite a cow,
When they only would meow,
And this story is totally fact.

So he went on a great big attack,
Drove over them in a semi named Mack,
We got quite a laugh,
When he cut them in half,
For their insides were really part cat.

(Afterthoughts)
Dedicated to all the Zacks I know and the ones I don't (whether I want to know them or not).

Riding The Rails

2010-08-20T07:38:00.002-04:00

After a long 3/4 of a year bumming around on unemployment the time has come to hop the train and move to a new city. My decent job options are pretty much burned out here in Terre Haute so much to my family's joy and excitement I am moving back to them (which Mom has been begging for every week for the past 3 years lol). I start with the 1st of X amount of trips transporting my possessions 180 miles away (3 1/2 hour trip each way) beginning this very morning.

My decision to make the move is 2 fold:
(1) My job potential is better in that location due to the much higher amount of machine shops in the area mainly due to a few of the world's biggest orthopedic manufacturers having their corporate headquarters in the small city of Warsaw.
(2) If I have not obtained employment by the time my unemployment runs out in a few months, the money I have saved on rent will be enough to support me for a while so that I can take a contracting job again in a different state which will earn me a much higher paycheck than working anywhere else.

So while I have enjoyed my time here in T.H. the time has come for me to adventure on back to my old stomping grounds while I wait to turn the page to the next chapter in my pretentious life ;-)

(Afterthoughts)
Woo Hoo, new record set for the length between blog posts.

Streetcorners

2010-06-11T12:29:00.002-04:00

I have bitched and I have moaned and I have avoided putting too much effort into correcting those complaints by actually looking for a job beyond the minimum required to keep receiving that weekly unemployment check (hee hee) but regardless, my years of highly skilled cnc machinist experience betrayed me by drawing in an employer seeking my abilities. *pzzzsttffff failed firework display*

Today I have orientation then on Monday I begin life in a factory yet again as I have lost so many years of life to already. I will be working 1st shift which I have rarely done and is in contrast to my virtually vampiric bodies natural schedule. The hours are Monday-Thursday 7am-5:30pm and overtime (when available) is on Friday. Other than needing to set an alarm clock for the first time in over a decade, not too bad of a work schedule considering the possibility for many 3 day weekends.

So I am excited and also a bit nervous since I have not touched a machine in 1 1/2 years, but I am sure it will quickly return to me as I soak in the environment I am quite used to. And I will also be the only girl running a machine as well which often does poke a few sore spots with some of the more chauvinist redneck boys which always makes for some fun for me poking them with a metaphoric stick.

(Afterthoughts)
10 Z25
20 X25 Y25
30 X-25 Y-25
40 goto 20

Danger In The Schools

2010-05-27T14:27:00.003-04:00

I read an article in Time today warning us of the newest dangerous hazard to the very lifes and souls of our poor under-protected schoolchildren. If you are a parent you had best drop whatever you were planning on doing after reading this and march straight up to your kids room and search it with a fine tooth comb, for their own good of course. Our innocently misguided youth have once again shown us sensible adults that kids need to be watched and monitored better and thanks to the high and mighty reactionist school systems for knowing the deadly better then us. This terrible evil from the 7th, er, maybe it was the 8th circle of hell itself has creeped under our very noses and it goes by the name of "Silly Bandz."

Don't think they sound so evil, just ask Jill Wolborsky, a fourth-grade teacher. She has the foresight to ban them in her classroom before the school finally dragged their feet into making them contraband and she fearfully and elegantly proclaimed their inncessant evil by stating, "It's a distraction." I say well said Jill, if that isn't a good enough reason to give in to the fear of Silly Bandz devouring our children's souls, then you must live in a world that is blind to the most simple and basic of common senses.

It makes me lament the struggle I personally had to endure as a schoolchild where teachers would borrow pocketknives off students when they had forgotten to bring theirs in with them that day. Being forced to witness students wearing all manner of clothing that was not a uniform, and the nearest metal detector was not even at the local courthouse, but all the way over at the county courthouse. How any of us managed to make it through school without dying from paranoia at the open freedoms our young and impressionable minds were forcibly exposed to I will never know.

Thank God that we have such outstanding protectors monitoring today's kids with high surveillance equipment, armed guards, daily searches, metal detectors around every hallway corner, roaming packs of dogs, titanium locks, high tension electrified barbed razor wire, automated gun turret guard towers surrounding the schools perimeter, and school administration staff who realize the importance of actively seeking out the latest threat to our kids well being which would prevent a normal upbringing instead of actually bothering with the whole process of actual education.

(Afterthoughts)
*sigh* if only I could have been born 30 years later and been allowed to have a proper school experience.

Suck On What !?!

2010-05-20T22:10:00.005-04:00

While I'm not a girl who has the typical cliche lust for chocolate that so many others possess, I do still have the subconscious "turn of my head" or "hey! eye's up here" reaction of it catching my notice. Therefore this tasty number that combines two great tastes that you sure as hell hope taste great together when that shaft of hard candy slides in and out of your mouth had me licking my lips and softly moaning in anticipation. While it is not something you can find on just any street corner, such things are always available mail order due to the wonders of modern internet technology. If you think that this is what your lonely life is hollowly missing and will fill the void in your life that needs itched, drop on down to make the acquaintance of Chocolate Bacon Lollipops!. Or just hop right on into the back of my van *wink, wink*

(Afterthoughts)
Personally the Caffeinated Maple Bacon Lollipops are the ones who's thoughts of make my toes curl.

Apology

2010-05-17T14:56:00.002-04:00

Sorry, I've been rather non-rantic lately. That is what happens when I spend too much time hidden away in the secret lair avoiding the world which tends to spark my anger. Hmmmm, maybe unemployment isn't such a bad thing after all.

(Afterthoughts)
The picture is a clip from The Order of the Stick #724.

Happy Birthday to Me

2010-05-12T00:01:00.002-04:00

In honor of surviving this messed up world among you crazy humans for officially and exactly 36 years as of today, here is a birthday related video. I have recently gotten hooked on this guy, The Angry Video Game Nerd, and love his reviews of the old crappy video games. And he drinks and swears while playing them for his reviews which are 2 things I often also do myself. Plus he is also really cute.

(Afterthoughts)
Oh yes, he is hella cute, meow!

Zombie Loan

2010-05-08T18:35:00.003-04:00

An old series I started rewatching that you can download here.

Michiru Kita is a special girl who possesses Shinigami Eyes, a power which allows her to see a person's nearness to their destined death by seeing a ring, invisible to normal people, around the person's neck. When a person is marked to die, a gray ring appears, which darkens over time. Once the ring turns completely black, the person dies. Chika Akatsuki and Shito Tachibana, two boys in her class, both have black rings around their necks, but to her surprise, they are not yet dead. It is revealed that after a tragic accident that was supposed to kill them both, the two boys made a deal with a secret loan office called the Zombie-Loan. In return for keeping them alive, the two have to hunt zombies for the loan office. When Michiru gets involved with them, she finds that her life has just become more complicated.

(Afterthoughts)
Life is boring & all I have been doing is watching anime and drinking (alternating cups of coffee then rum & rootbeer). Hmmmm, that actually makes life sound pretty damn good.

Boobquake Idiocy

2010-04-27T04:12:00.004-04:00

Seriously, boobquake is being passed off as an "experiment" to show that just because a woman decides to dress a hair's breadth away from the very real legal crime of indecent exposure, it will not cause earthquakes. When you feel the ground shaking and hear the rumbling sound of a cattle stampede, that is merely from the large group of men rushing their way to "scientifically observe" the latest participant in this ridiculous experiment. I could rant a bit more on the topic but if it is not blindingly obvious where I am going with this then (A) you are observing the experiment or (B) you are one of the special (education type, not talented typed of special) participants.

So instead, here is some little known background info for y'all to wrap your brains around about the event. Boobquake was not the original name for the event (is it even worthy of being called an "event"???) Other names initially considered were :
- Breastploitation
- Sponge Goatee For Men
- Back Pain Awareness Day
- Squeeze Into A Bra 3 Sizes Too Small Challenge
- Photoshop Nipples Away
- I'd Never Guess You Had Surgery From Such A "Natural" Size
- Let's See How Gullible, Stupid, Shallow, And/Or Slutty Women Are
- Who Needs X-ray Glasses
- How Dare You Say I'm Size 8 When I Fit In A Size 2
- Men Don't Need To Blink
- It's The Only Way I Can Breathe While Wearing My Grade School Daughter's Clothes

And those are just the ones that fall within titles of decency, even I had to stop and reread some of the worse ones because I thought I had seen them incorrectly, and I wish that had been the case (my eyes . . . they burn . . . THEY BURN!!!) I honestly feel ashamed to be a woman after witnessing so many of my gender jumping on such of a bandwagon.

Just one more important thing to add, this experiment response to the Islamic speech if it were even based on a legitimate theory would still be pointless. Here is the direct quote from the speech : "When promiscuity spreads, earthquakes increase," Hojatoleslam Kazim Sadeghi said. For those without a dictionary handy, that means having sex with lots of people. Being a slut and flashing yourself, while still wrong, is a hella lot different.

(Afterthoughts)
For those women out there who say they always dress like that, I guess we now know who is keeping the pepper spray and rape hotlines in business.

The Closet Door

2010-04-17T18:02:00.004-04:00

Since I'm already taking flak for being a girly girl, I'm just gonna roll with those punches for now and show y'all what today's project for me was. I pimped out the door to my closet and it turned out very cute.

(Afterthoughts)
*contented sigh* door is preeeeeeeeetty :-)

The Men Who Stole My Heart

2010-04-16T19:09:00.003-04:00

These are my younger sister's children. From left to right: George (7), Billy (9), Liz (35), Dewey (3). The infamous nephews I go to visit when I travel up north 200 miles to my Mom's house. My sister's family lives about 1/4 mile down the road from my Mom so I have everyone right there. Of course the boys spend as much time at Grandma's as they can, especially when Aunt Liz comes to visit, LOL. They are my heart and soul and I love them more than I can express. Just seeing these pics fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling every time.

(Afterthoughts)
The most amazing thing was getting all 3 boys to sit still long enough to get a couple nice pictures taken LOL.

I Love Traffic

2010-04-14T11:07:00.002-04:00

One of those phrases that I didn't plan on ever saying but got me with this game.

Crush The Castle

2010-04-14T06:32:00.001-04:00

Argh, I'm hooked on this game and if you have an iphone, first I am sorry for you, second you can get this game for free on it.

Dolls

2010-04-14T00:31:00.004-04:00

Reminds me of when I was a little girl. You can click the picture to be taken to that episode of the webcomic and see it as a larger picture.

(Afterthoughts)
Yes, my monster dolls did act like that.

The Last Song

2010-04-13T21:35:00.002-04:00

It took me over a week of debating to give in and post this blog. I was hesitant because it is a direction that I rarely wander off in although I know y'all delight in smirking at the proof that I am a bit of a girly girl (no wonder I rarely play the part of a sweet, loving bloggeress).

As the title suggests, I did go see the movie "The Last Song." Hmmm, I damn near ended the blog right here just out of pure spite, *sigh*

But anyways, when I went up to my Mom's for Easter weekend, 2 of my bestest girlfriends called me wanting me to go to the movies with them. I was less than thrilled over the idea of going to see a chick flick but they insisted, er, more like threatened to literally pick me up and carry me out of the house to their car and drag me into the theater bound and gagged if they had to (not much of a choice on my part).

Now let me interject here for a moment: my natural reaction to chick flicks is that I hate them, however in reality that is far from the truth, it's just my automatic response. I love those girly movies and have watched them my whole life, and turn into the cliche mushy hearted girl riding the rollercoaster of emotions following the characters. It just hurts my tough girl half-demoness image, but that is something I am slowly worried about less and less as I am getting older and finding it harder and harder to deny that the little bit of a girly girl that I am is actually a hella lot bigger than I try to let on.

So it was a very sweet movie and I was enthralled by it (unsurprisingly) but then for like the last hour (??? something like that) it turned terribly sad. The rest of the movie had the entire theater of girls (I did spot a few men who were regretting being forced to go lol) were crying for that last hour, and I seriously mean every girl there (yes, including me). If you listened, you heard sniffle after sniffle all around and could see girls wiping their eyes in the dim light.

My friends did tease me a bit on the ride home for trying to deny that I was crying during the movie, er, not the cleverest thing to try to trick them with since they were sitting right beside me LOL. And I cried again some more as I laid in bed that night thinking about the movie. And then I cried a little bit more a few times over the next few days as well before I finally settled down.

Now I do have a good reason for my additional tears after the movie was over. I also watched my father die right in front of me a few years ago. It was a quick death that happened unexpectedly and was done and over in a matter of a number of short minutes, unlike the much slower over a few months death that her father in the movie went through. But when she saw him pass away in his chair at his house I knew I would be feeling the sadness and hurt for a while from the parallel to my own life. I never did cry for my father whom I loved deeply and miss everyday, but seeing a movie like that did touch a painful part of my heart.

I really did love that movie and will be buying it when it comes out on DVD but it is one that I will not watch too often because I know it will bring out the tears each and every time.

(Afterthoughts)
Oops, forgot to post that "spoiler alert" notice at the top, um, better late than never.

Die Carmen Die

2010-04-06T13:12:00.005-04:00

I love the classics and this video has a lot more death that they typical average music video. Not one of my favorite songs but it's ok and the video does make it a hella lot better.

(Afterthoughts)
The reference to the "Bad Touch" video camo at the very end was sweeeeeet!

What I learned on my Easter vacation

2010-04-05T13:19:00.002-04:00

Easter is generally a great day for lots of candy only second to my favorite holiday of Halloween. However there is one very important piece of advice that you do not ever want to forget on the rabbit themed special day:

Only eat the the bigger colored eggs, the small round ones are NOT chocolate, oh god are they not, blech. Trust me when I say that is a critical difference to remember.

(Afterthoughts)
Y'all have been warned!!!!

Bowls & Dowels

2010-03-28T16:24:00.005-04:00

Here y'all go, once again after a very long break due to nothing more than laziness is one of dem dag durned vlog thingies, so go grab some popcorn and let the video magic commence.

(Afterthoughts)
Yes, I do now have a couch in my apartment.

A Fishy Tale

2010-03-23T15:42:00.003-04:00

As I was driving around in my car (um, as compared to what the hell else obviously) I noticed once again a sign for a "Jonas Fish Fry." Those have always kinda snagged my interest because I have never had an opportunity to go to one. I do enjoy seafood but think that calling it a "fish fry" is a bit misleading. Now I understand that the whole marketing/advertising thing along with our undereducated population is going to mandate that the word "fish" be used, but from a technical standpoint, whales are mammals and not fish. Granted that they sure as hell look like a fish and with their stomping grounds being in the water, it is hard to make a case against the whole fish logo so I'll just roll with it.

Now I have no idea if I would enjoy the taste of whale meat or not, but I do want to go to one of those Jonas Fish Fry events to find out. My legal knowledge is kinda hazy at best but I think that they do have a controlled limit on hunting whales which is why the churches only have this event a couple times a year.

I did have a friend of mine try to tell me that it is just fish at those and that it wasn't Jonas that was swallowed by a whale anyway. My reply, "Jonas ... Geppetto ... whoever. It doesn't matter cause they are all fairy tales anyway, I just wanna try some whale meat."

Sometimes it just isn't worth the effort to argue with me.

(Afterthoughts)
Betcha almighty Zeus is a bit angry over this blasphemy.

Bloodless Is This Season's "White"

2010-03-18T14:50:00.005-04:00

I must say that I am quite amused yet again by all this darkly romantic sighing and fantasizing over vampires. Y'all do realize that you are their source of food, right!?! Reminds me of a famous book ...

***Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy*** {flashback}

Remember the restaurant at the end of the universe and the creature they brought out to their table that had been force feeding itself for months and was giving recommendations of what parts of it they would enjoy eating. That is every single one of you that find vampires romantic.

Let me put it another way:

It's like having a swimming pool in your backyard that you have filled full of leaches and are inviting people over for a pool party. No lonely teen girl, regardless of how gothic she thinks she is, is gonna do any romantic swooning over your pool o' wriggly leeches. She is gonna go running and screaming straight to the nearest police station. Then end up spending at least several days in a psych ward getting calmed down.

That is what happens when you rationalize fantasy into the real world. Turns out to be not quite as pleasant. Hopefully y'all are thinking now and have caught the point. ;)

(Afterthoughts)
This one I had actually scribbled down on paper first about a week ago right before going off to the plasma center to earn some money, hmmmmm.

My Secret Lair Unveiled

2010-03-13T18:15:00.005-05:00

Holy trogamites Batgirl, it's top secret photographic showslide evidence of our favorite shinigami's secret lair. Yep, that is the current lair. Granted it is not very huge but it is about the perfect size for me. For those obsessed with dimensions, it is roughly 13'x13' (I only had a 12' tape measure lol). Since I am a bit of a packrat, I was forced to learn a very tough lesson about efficient decorational organization. The hardest part was taking my 2 large shelves of dvd's and throwing out all the cases so that I could put the discs into two cases that each hold 354 discs (one is full & the other about half full). So that among several other similar details taught this old half-demoness some new tricks that in retrospect I am very glad to have learned and am a better person overall for it with no rant in sight on that particular topic for a change.

(Afterthoughts)
Don't be mocking my cot, it is hella comfy and I sleep just as well upon it as I did my queen sized bed. If you can find a full retail priced object of $40 that isn't named "motel room" or "borderline legal chemical" that will provide a great night's rest, then I will smile & spit at ya.

Funny Flash Friday

2010-03-12T18:36:00.004-05:00

Sure, I could write a real post but it's time for the weekend to start, I got a job finally and begin working next Tuesday (stay tuned for more details next week, same Bat time, same Bat channel) and this is an awesome cartoon that y'all probably don't know about anyways.

(Afterthoughts)
As the series progresses I have discovered that it has an almost Hitchhiker's Guide feel to it with how later on the casual early occurrences end up showing an incredibly deeper connection to the overall plot weaving a surprisingly rich tapestry of a story and I just originally started watching it because it is funny on a purely outer husk level without realizing the tasty caramel core that was waiting buried deep inside it's pulsating heart.

It's A Photo Finish

2010-03-11T02:41:00.000-05:00

Well, not for a lack of trying to stir up a bit of creativity in y'all, the contest results are in...

*drum roll*

StOP!!!

OK, so the winner was clear cut from the start due to a ringer jumping in (who I already love bunches anyway) so although it was a bit unusual, we were looking for a second place victor in this contest (got to love how things naturally twist into a corkscrew for me without even trying).

So our second place or runner-up is none other than...

*trumpet music*

Caroline, who disappointingly for me was the only other contestant.

So she gets my love and admiration, which ironically she already pretty much had anyway. But anyways, as promised I did manage to snag her on facebook chat and got it transferred over to the much better working yahoo chat. Honestly I expected a good quality conversation with her, and I was not disappointed at all. We ended up talking for over 2 hours and could have gone longer if I didn't have someone waiting on me for one of my infrequent girl's movie night with my galpal M. According to the official yahoo records 6:28:05pm - 8:48:37pm and it was time very well spent. Hopefully we will get to chat again real soon. Caroline, you didn't win my love and respect, you totally earned it all by yourself by being yourself.

(Afterthoughts)
I have chatted with a fair number of y'all and have always enjoyed it so don't be afraid to hit me up on yahoo messenger, & I may even turn on the "Cam o' Dread" so ya can see me live and in real time blah blah blah.

Step Right On Up Here Contestants

2010-03-04T06:37:00.003-05:00

Ok, here is the deal, I am gonna have a lil ole contest here to find out who I like the best and will become my super special favorite fan. I think by now y'all are painfully aware that there is very little love in my shriveled up husk of a heart. Therefore I am presenting a totally fair chance for one lucky girl or boy (or girl-boy or boy-girl as I have become aware some of you currently qualify) to become the recipient of all my love (objects in mirror may be closer than they appear).

Now on to the rules of engagement for you little rapscallions:

Simple as losing a finger on a bandsaw with a broken guard, all you have to do is write me the most compelling advertisement for DISH Network that your twisted minds can devise. Make it a single paragraph of all text (or at least text characters). Whoever creates the ad that makes me want to buy DISH (not that I will since I stopped watching TV over a year ago) wins my platonic love and affection, such as it is.

To get y'all started, here is the ad I wrote myself for an excellent specimen of an example:

You need DISH Network, and not just because I earn commission (which honestly is still nice for me) but because it simply is the best deal for TV that you can get. Everyone is looking for a way to lower their monthly bills without losing those services we have come to rely on. Face it, TV is the best babysitter ever invented and truly has become a member of the family that we can not live without. So with times being hard for a lot of us, if you are paying more than $20 each month for your television programming you are throwing that money away. I would switch over to DISH and keep that cash in my pocket instead of someone else's pocket (although I am sure they will not complain if you want to keep handing your spare money over to them). The FREE installation/equipment for 6 rooms & FREE DVR Upgrade definitely makes the transition to DISH as smooth as butter (tasty tasty butter). Plus they lock-in the price of your monthly bill for an entire year. That means all you will be paying is $19.99/mth for 120 A.D.C. or $32.99/mth for 200 A.D.C. And that A.D.C. thing is All-Digital Channels, not the snowy analog picture you get from a cable box. What good is paying for snow when you can't even build a snowman (even if the idea of “warm” snow is a tempting sell). Why wait? Call 1-800-998-DISH right now & mention promo code: A12 or go to our website at http://www.vmcsatellite.com/red_design/home.cfm?aid=318043 because you will be so much happier with great service, more channels, AND saving money. ^_^

Email your submissions to shinigami_liz@yahoo.com

(Afterthoughts)

Hey, just because it is a bit of a sham to try to get a better ad than I am capable of writing for my work-at-home job doesn't mean that I won't do something for the winner. At the very least I'll set aside a block of time for cam chat (although if you have yahoo messenger you get that anyway if you catch me not being invisible).

Step Right Up And Spin The Wheel

2010-02-25T21:56:00.003-05:00

Those of you who keep up with the latest fashions, er, newsy tech stuff, have probably heard about chatroulette! For everyone else, here is what is going on beyond the underside of your rock.

First off, you need a webcam. Check. Then what happens is next is setup preschool simple. You get randomly matched with someone else on the site, you see each other via webcam and can text or even speak (mic not included) if you are setup with that extra piece of equipment. The only options you have as far as choosing whom you are matched with is ending the current pick & jumping to the next random one. Definitely a neat concept, you don't even get a handle, the chatting page lists yourself as "you" and your new friend as "stranger." It is cut down to the bare bones basics, and that is one of the things that makes it work.

Now for the downside. There are no buddy lists, but again, that's not what this is about. Should you strike up a connection with someone that you want to stay in touch with then trade emails, IM handles, hell even your phone numbers, just whatever. Then there is the problem that you have already guessed at, penis exhibition. You are gonna see more floppy penis than a gay bathhouse, which makes the "one click" escape to the next horror, er, interesting person a very welcome standard feature. Granted that a setup like this is gonna bring the icky perverts oozing outta the woodwork so try to avoid this site while your 4 year old is sitting on your lap.

After a couple of hours on it I realized that my prediction for the site was 100% accurate. You skip past a few floppies here and there, a lot of people axed me within 5 seconds because I wasn't sitting there in my bra (or less), most of the conversations run the same boring introduction gauntlet we became weary of years ago when required to make small talk with a stranger we don't really have any interest in speaking with in the first place, then you hit the occasional gem where conversation just clicks and before you can exchange a method of communication for later on the new glitchy program bugs out on you and you are left wondering when the hell that brick wall jumped out in front of you.

All in all, even with it's darkside it found it's nick and I hope it hangs around for the times that I want to just have some brief random chats that won't strain the fluff in me head.

(Afterthoughts)
I quickly discovered to keep a phrase saved on my clipboard for right-click/ paste convenience, "Awwwww, it's sooo tiny that it's cute! You must be proud to have a third pinky finger growing out of you leg ;)"

Sharpen My Claws

2010-02-23T23:23:00.004-05:00

Finally broke down and gave in and went and got my claws done. Turned out pretty nice and I am rather pleased with myself for finally taking the time to git-r-done.

(Afterthoughts)
Now I get the fun job of reconfiguring and tweaking out my dexterity. Hopefully I'll get a good roll from the dice.

Write Your Name In The Snow

2010-02-17T17:16:00.004-05:00

Lip Balm is supposedly a rated G product. You see it everywhere, in stores, restaurants, kiosks, vending machines, gas stations, truck stops, and even your child's school. It comes in many different friendly colors and flavors, seductively enticing us with it's kiss of {such & such popular generic flavor} or even a well know cartoon character. The noble purpose was originally to provide an occlusive layer on the lip surface to seal moisture in lips and protect them from the external exposure of dry air, cold temperatures and wind's drying effect on skin as they draw moisture out of the body.

I-R-O-N-I-C ... or is it just a twisted scheme to subtlety condition us to other, more uncommon products. Originally the first lip balm was made out of actual earwax, which although functional, lacked a certain popularity due to it's taste. That should have been an early warning sign that things would turn much, much darker.

Now on to snow. Light, fluffy, and just plain outright delicious. Infamous for playing a vital part in the old fashioned "lemon snow cone" prank that while appearing enticing will just leave you addicted to mouthwash. Once merely the schoolyard domain of immature boys, it now can be for immature girls as well...

Don't take life sitting down... but for this amazing breakthrough you actually should just for safety. It is GoGirl, the dishwasher friendly (just toss in next to your plates & sporks) medical grade silicone way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. Is that a FUD in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? GoGirl fits easily in your purse, pocket, glove compartment, or even your lover's mouth. As they say... You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one. And... and ... um ... um .... hmmmm

Damn, I hate when I have such a golden opportunity splashed in my lap and I just can't decide which way to run off giggling like a madgirl twisting the perspective on it and giving it a couple of good shakes before we just zip it away back into hiding. Ahh, let's just call it a day and enjoy the relief of not having to hold this one in any longer and now that I have flushed it out of my system I can get back to more mature topics as I sit here with the lingering traces of concentration on my face.

(Afterthoughts)
Hee hee, I'm still giggling about the snow writing title gag.

2010-02-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

<^_^>

Veins for sale

2010-02-16T18:13:00.003-05:00

Per popular demand for more pictures of lovely me, here y'all go. At my visit with the vampires (selling plasma) they kinda messed up a wee little bit and blew my vein. I still pulled off a good donation without having to be re-pierced but you can see the results from Saturday. It should be fine soon and is only a little bit sore but still looks horrible.

(Afterthoughts)
I think bruise purple would make a nice nail polish color.

V-Day

2010-02-15T03:41:00.002-05:00

Ah yes, such a wonderful and romantic day filled with flowers and candy (I likey the candy) and heart touching cards, um, and then I woke up.

Being the single girl that I am who also happens to be a gamer girl too, I spent this V-Day playing videogames at eBash. They had a free facebook day if you rsvp which means no charge to get into the coolest and awesomeness gamer club. There were a lot of guys there and only a couple of girls which drives home the point that cliches become cliches for a very good reason. But I had a good time and sadly being in a gamer club on a computer surrounded by guys who were more interested in the pixels on their monitors than the shortness of my skirt, this still ranks as one of my all-time best Valentines Days.

(Afterthoughts)
Luckily I have that half-demoness thing going on and can flash Cupid my slitted-eye glare letting him know that I am considering using one of his arrows as a spit for my Cupid bar-b-que.

Give the girls a good home

2010-02-13T10:37:00.002-05:00

Ok, ok, this is a problem all of us girls have (no, not THAT one) with the moody and temperamental washing/dryer machines. Not only are they infamous in their pursuit of the rare delicacy of those tasty missing socks, but another less publicized harassment they churn on us is the "cops on the redneck's lawn at 2am to hear how she 'fell into a doorknob'" type abuse our bras go through in those vandalizing machines.

Since I rarely watch TV I undoubtedly missed this gem when it crossed the late night infomercial scene, but happened to run across it in Wal-Mart (our holy redneck heaven). I speak of none other than the esteemed Bra Baby. I honestly could go on about how clever and resourceful and much needed such a product is but to save time just watch this quick demo video instead and let yourself be the judge & jury on this trial.

(Afterthoughts)
I bought a single one at the store for $5 so check the local retails before ordering online.

Moralistic Testy Thingy

2010-02-09T09:06:00.002-05:00

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS....................

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'

HOWEVER......, My correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because Obama's health care won't pay for her, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings!

Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box... Like a Half-Demoness.'

(Afterthoughts)
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Behold The Stupid!

2010-02-07T15:27:00.003-05:00

As a special treat and personal favor to me, Pandora has written a guest rant. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the rant-a-licious vibes from one of my favorite meddling kids from across the sea in Grand ole England.

I'm on the front-line at work. Often the first person a visitor sees or speaks to is me. As such I see a lot of the stupid. And so many times its the same brand of stupid.

Some days it's all I can do not to scream a stream of sarcastic British invective back at them.

Case in point - The No Clue Brigade

Customer - Hi. I'm here for a meeting.
Me - Hello. Who are you here to see?
Customer - Dunno
Me - OK. What is the interview about?
Customer - Dunno. Some course
(Dream me - Oh that's good. We only run THIRTEEN DIFFERENT FUCKING COURSES HERE! Shall I presume you're here for the Basic Skills for Fuckwits course?)
Real me - Do you have the letter we sent you?
Customer - Didn't get a letter
(Dream me - Yes you fucking did! I wrote it, signed it and posted it you lying fuck!)
Me - Right... Can I take your name then?
Customer - mumble mumble
Me - *phones around all the department heads until someone has heard of him*
Me - Miss X will see you shortly. Please take a seat
Customer - That's the name! Miss X!
(Dream me - SHO-RYU-KEN! Pandora Wins! Fatality!)

And that's when they are even in the right place

Customer - Hi. I'm here to see Mr Z
Me - I'm sorry, we don't have a Mr Z. Are you sure that was the right name?
Customer - I think so. Mr Z at Made-up College.
(Dream me - Does the sign on the door say Made-up College? Does it? No! It says *Company Name* you fuckwit!)
Real me - I think you are at the wrong place. We are *Company Name*
Customer - Oh! Where is Made-up college then?
(Dream me - Tell you what, I'll just stop the incredibly important job I'm doing to run a Googlemaps search for you yeah?)
Me - *Gives directions. Which isn't easy, as we are nowhere near it*
Customer - Oh. Thanks.

Timesheets are another personal favourite of mine. Or rather, the angry parent of a student about timesheets. It usually goes like this.

Angry Parent - My daughter hasn't been paid for 5 weeks!
(Dream me - Boo-hoo)
Real me - Ok. What is her n....
Angry Parent - What are you going to do about it?
Real me - *deep breath* What is her name?
Angry Parent - Ann Nonymous
Me - Lets check the computer system
*looks at the database*
Me - Hmmm. yes you're right. Has Ann handed in her timesheets?
Angry Parent - Yes!
Me - OK. Let me look in the pending tray
*Finds five weeks of timesheets with a received date stamp of yesterday*
Me - Your daughter only handed in the last five weeks timesheets on Thursday. Yesterday.
Angry Parent - So. Why weren't they paid?
Me - Payroll is run on Wednesdays.
Angry Parent - *silence as the gears click into place*
Me - *waits pateintly*
Embarrassed Parent - She didn't tell me that part... sorry...
(Dream me - And so you fucking should be you obnoxious arse!)
Real me - That's OK. Thanks for your call.

This is closely related to:

Customer - Why haven't I been paid?
Me - Lets check *spends ten minutes consulting both payroll computer systems* This says we authorised your payment on Monday this week.
Customer - So why haven't I been paid?
Me - Your money should arrive on a Thursday. That's today.
Customer - But it wasn't in my bank when I checked at 8:30am
(Dream me - Because the bank wasn't open then. You get paid ON Thursday. IT IS STILL THURSDAY YOU FUCKING MORON!)
Real me - It's still Thursday
Customer - Huh?
Me - You get paid some time on Thursday. Today is still Thursday. It isn't over yet. You will get paid when the bank processes it later today.
Customer - Oh!

... and relax.

You know, having a rant *is* very theraputic. Love and Peace people :)

Fire in the hole

2010-02-05T16:01:00.002-05:00

Stuff moved into new apartment. Check.
Computers set up and running properly. Check.
Internet service transferred to new lair. Check.
Apartment organized. In Progress.

Things are almost up and going in the new secret lair and once the base is activated I will have some more stories to tell. Like the case of the missing laptop (spoiler: I recovered it from the thief) or the unemployment woes or maybe a topical rant on changing tires... who knows what crazy surprises are in store for you, the dedicated and much loved viewer who brightens my day with sunshiny comments and rainbow kisses. Gonna go put on some girlie music and start the housework. Hugs for y'all.

(Afterthoughts)
Estrogen levels way too high. Check.

just a test

2010-02-03T23:39:00.001-05:00

test blog

Stubbern AND foolish girl

2010-01-21T12:54:00.002-05:00

Sometimes my demonic pride gets the best of even me. One of my best friends in the world who is also my roommate (but not for much longer) got into a screaming match over something totally foolish and silly (and I can't even remember exactly what it was over now). But simply put, we are now going our separate ways and only talking through short and to the point text messages. We have both been rather stressed out lately and although that is always a poor excuse that doesn't stop angry words from being said either. The sad thing is that we are more than capable of making amends with each other and he even did try to do that after I locked myself crying in my room. But of course that would have relied on me being willing to listen which I am too damn stubborn and prideful to bother doing. So we are splitting apart into different directions and are both losing a very good and important friend in the process. Life hurts even more when it doesn't really have to hurt at all.

(Afterthoughts)
I should swallow my pride and reach back out to him but my pride tastes horrible and I can surely find something better to go into my mouth. At least I get to withdraw from the world for a while now.

Damn girl, someone is adorable and it's me

2010-01-14T22:18:00.002-05:00

Ok, ok, so I hate to admit it but someones, once in a blue moon, I do submit to my cuter nature and in a brief moment of weakness bought myself this Hello Kitty hoodie. OMG!!!! I sooooooo freaking love it though, sigh.

(Afterthoughts)
I guess the heart of a sweet and adorable girl is beating quite loudly today from it's jar on the shelf in my laboratory closet. ;)

Fun Times at the River

2010-01-10T01:35:00.002-05:00

It's the simple things in life in which we derive the bestest of pleasures. For example: poking things with a stick. And the next best thing to poking things with a stick is a video game about poking something with a stick, or to be more specific, a corpse floating down a river. What more possibly needs said to send y'all sprinting away to play it. Absolutely nothing, that's right, so click here, go have fun, and stay up late, you deserve it.

(Afterthoughts)
Why are you still reading this!?! Let the poking comense.

Back in the saddle as still angry as ever

2010-01-01T14:22:00.002-05:00

Welcome one and all to yet another alluring post-type ramble from our illustrious half-demoness from the Midwestern hell belt.

For those who actually check the expiration dates on various items, thou may hast noticed that it has been a while since I doth last posted (figured I would jump on the obvious train even though a small child could have figured that out without the large blinking arrowed sign pointing straight at that fact).

Turns out that my internet service account got merged with someone else's account who shared a landline # that was the same as my internet #, and when they canceled their service my got partly canceled as well. Now of course it was done in a way that their systems showed my account was active regardless of there not being any brain draining internet piped into my home. Would have been nice for once had it worked out the opposite way where my account would have showed canceled in their system but I continued to receive interwebs beamed into thine house (even when it takes a broom to get them out of the corners at the ceiling). So it took 3 weeks of fighting with them and getting transfered back and forth between departments and being given every excuse a few times over before I got tired of it and told them to offically cancel it the rest of the way out because it was like pulling teeth to even try to get them to cancel service so that we could simply start a new account with them. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The last few posts I did on her were actually via cell phone which is rather a pain in my ass to write through.

Y'all missed out on my angry holiday rants but it does look as though the world has once again survived the incredible amount of damage done to it from you insane humans warping the very fabric of reality to dangerous breaking levels. We all are lucky that it has a bit more flex to it than the few of us who know what is happening to it give it credit for having (oohhh, cryptic). My Christmas involved multiple break-ins, destruction of some of my stuff, and a horribly failed blackmail attempt by a pathetic excuse (even by human standards) of a guy who used to live with us and stole about $1000 of my stuff & disappeared in the night.

I got to work on both the holiday's this past week and am hoping to make the trip to my Mom's house in a few weeks to see my family and exchange loot with them (however meager it will be from all of us being perpetually broke).

(Afterthoughts) ... (stolen from Mousehunt)
Festive Restraining Order:
At this festive time and season, I could finally find a reason, To send a card, and say with glee, Please stop hiding in my tree.

Let the "slay" bells ring

2009-12-10T20:15:00.001-05:00

Today has not been a promising day for the tiny bit of humanity that I keep locked up and buried deep, deep inside of me just like how Scrooge kept his gold coins securely buried away (seasonally appropriate reference).

I am burning with such fury that I can melt a snowman into a puddle at 20 paces. They have not even invented terms for all the kinds of angry I am today!!! Luckily my mind is humming too damn fast to submit y'all to the blind redness dripping through my skull.

And it is all because of a shirt.

Yes, a God damn Fucking T-shirt.

Although to be more precise, it is due more to our world's degradation into tree hugging, ass kissing, calloused knees, cum drunk, politically correct, over sensitive, whiny little bitches who overachieve in only the single aspect of stripping down the world to it's most blandly lukewarm configuration that is as dangerous and terrifying as a sack of newborn kittens. Screw those motherfuckers and the horse they raped on their way into town. I HATE those worthless, childish games and dragging me to the table to join in and play my hands does not make me a happy girl in the slightest bit.

My favorite videogame shirt has a white mage from the original Final Fantasy on the front and proclaims a slogan on the back saying "guns don't kill people, magic missiles do." Amazing how that simple article of clothing which I have worn to work countless times suddenly became "inappropriate" enough overnight for my boss to be dragged into work on her day off for the incredibly complex task (that a roomfull of managers who were already there could apparently not do themselves) of informing me that because someone complained about a gun reference on my shirt (which promotes NOT using guns), that I have to submit humbly to censorship and turn my shirt inside out AND go home.

What the fucking hell is the deal with that shit. I don't know if I'm more impressed or more disturbed that someone managed to force their apron string entwined arm down far enough to remove the thumb from their mouth long enough to emit a high pitched shreek of a complaint against an imagined slight against their delusionally comfy pretend world.

(Afterthoughts)
Why I cling to my last tattered shreads of humanity like a limpet to a wet rock is a very sad and wobbly thought which is extremely disturbing to contemplate.

Tests

2009-12-07T02:41:00.002-05:00

Once in a while I find something I like & it is the Motorola Droid

- Liz

Bring on thee pain royale

2009-11-07T20:40:00.004-05:00

I have been sick a lot lately. My mom thinks that it goes back to February this year when I caught pneumonia, while I was moving from my house to an apartment, doing the majority of packing and loading my car and carrying everything by myself, in the cold nighttime, after work in the wee hours of the morning (1-4 am). Plus I had the stress of working at a new job which I figured that I would not last long at if I even managed to make it all the way through the 8 weeks of training. I could barely talk, coughed constantly, ran a cold shivering fever constantly, suffered through hot flashes, and could barely stay awake in my exhaustion. I seriously should have been in the hospital, but that would have meant that I would not get to keep the job I doubted I would keep anyway. So I plugged away night after night, staggering with box load after box load as I sweated in the freezing cold all while wondering if the new neighbors would find my nearly lifeless body the next morning lying on my doorway when I blacked out. Luckily that did not happen, my immune system fought tooth and nail to keep me alive without medicine, and I even stayed at that job regardless of how little affection I honestly feel towards it.

I was feeling better after my latest bout until last night. I was already exhausted from trying to work a couple 12 hour days to work off some of the points I have accumulated from being sick and missing work and was slowing regaining some strength back into my voice as the broken glass which I swear was buried somewhere within my throat started to work it's way loose. Then I turned into a broken toy.

We stopped and snagged some food to take home after work, and I ate about twice as much as I should have but I blame that on it being tasty. I mixed a drink and sat down at my computer to play a couple simple videogames to amuse myself as I winded down and prepared to catch a bit of very needed sleep. Too bad, so sad, I got a single hour of intensely bloody nightmare soaked rest while I lay curled up in a ball on my bed in so much pain that I couldn't even cry. But you can bet that I did whimper pitifully quite a bit. Once again I got to enjoy, and actually still am, the suffering of food poisoning.

There was no way for me to get comfortable enough to manage any rest all night long. When the pain became unbearable I would roll off my bed onto the floor and stagger into the bathroom in an attempt to purge my stomach enough that the pain would lower enough to allow me a brief, yet still very painful and brief respite. The bad thing was that my stomach had no desire to listen to logic and purge itself to allow the both of us to feel better. It fought me on that every single time.

My cycle for several hours was:
1) crying on my bed curled up in as tight of a ball as I could manage
2) falling to the floor
3) sticking my finger so far down my throat that I could feel my spine
4) waiting for about a minute as I cried about keeping that same finger poking the very back of my tongue wondering why it wasn't making me sick
5) coughing and gagging up a small amount of orangish slime which tasted even worse than it looked
6) repeating steps 3 and 4 several times
7) staggering back to bed with eyes blurry from tears to start again at step 1

This process occurred about every half hour for about 8 straight hours. It is not often that I cry and has been a few months since I have but last night and today I have cried more than I probably have over the past few years added up together and wrapped up in fancy paper and ribbon. Finally I managed to start gagging up clear liquid and the pain stayed at a constant, and barely bearable level. Of course all the cramps and pain in my stomach, along with the forced vomiting, caused my back to strain several muscles in it as well.

Luckily, this story could not get any worse, as long as you leave out how I was supposed to work today and although I could barely stand up straight still had to run my roommate to work since he was unable to get ahold of anyone to pick him up. Or when he called me after I had gotten back home and collapsed to inform me that my boss told him that I was required to come in today regardless of the shape I was in and had to manage to last a couple of hours because the company we contract for needs more billable hours and is threatening to make overtime mandatory (regardless of the fact that they will lose countless hours when a significant portion of the call center gets fired for not being able to comply with an additional 3 hours per day per person for 2 months straight).

So already weak from the first car ride I had to make another one to the other side of town. I almost fell climbing out of my car and shuffled my way slowly across the parking lot with one arm tightly wrapped around my tummy. About one minute after collapsing into a chair (and almost missing and half hanging off the edge) while I was very shakily setting up my desk to start taking calls, my boss walks over and asks if I am OK. Of course my natural sarcasm kicks in and I smile at her through eyes on the verge of tears and say that, "I am fine, why do you ask?" Of course she rolls her eyes and tells me that I look horrible and what is wrong. "No, no, I really am fine, other than the severe food poisoning which kept me curled up in ball without sleep all night while I cried and cursed my virtual nonexistent gag reflex as I shoved a finger down my throat about 30 times or so to little effect." So she sent me home since I was obviously going to be more worthless than normal on the phones (my evaluation, not hers). As I slowly shuffled my way towards the door, I got chased down by a couple of guys who insisted that they walk me to my car to keep me from falling down in the parking lot because I looked about ready to black out.

Fortunately it is a rare occurrence for my physical pain to come close to matching the emotional and psychological kind that I live with daily. At least the mental kind has worn itself into a sort of numbness over the past 30 years.

(Afterthoughts)
The fact that I 'sucked' so bad at "finger down my throat bulimia" has got to be either horrifying or extremely erotic. Sadly, this was not a situation where no gag reflex was any type of advantage.

Humble pie (thrown in yo eye)

2009-11-07T03:22:00.003-05:00

I will openly admit it, I was wrong. It is a poorly kept secret that I have learned to hate the iphone, and respectively Apple along with it. Forget the fact that I have an ipod which I do quite enjoy even though it comes from the same company. I justify it in my mind by assuming that those devices were created and designed by totally and completely unrelated departments within the conglomerate.

Now as a side effect, and yes, it is once again contradictory, is that even though I use itunes (because of the before mentioned ipod) that the iphone is also quite often synced with that program for various reasons that you do not need to know if you do not own an iphone or respectively, already know about them because you do. So I have gained a lower respect for itunes due to simply from that fact.

However, I did find a feature on itunes which undoubtedly has been there for who knows how long but had gotten continually overlooked by me. This would be the itunes radio. With it's countless internet radio stations it is hard not to quickly fall in love (ok, ok, mild affection with maybe some heavy petting). Hell, they have 111 metal stations which is awesome for this chick. So yes, I must give out a kudos to itunes and admit that regardless of how justified I may be in my general opinions, there are often aspects to everything within which we can find a common ground and reach a sort of temporary peace even if just for a brief moment.

(Afterthoughts)
Admittedly, I do also use the itunes DJ as well since it randomly plays the songs I have stored.

Musical synchronicity

2009-11-02T22:22:00.003-05:00

Since sooooo many people enjoy applying "deeper meaningfulness" and "hand of fate directed towards selfish lil me" proof of whatever, here is something for all you self proclaimed "media mystics" to drool and gossip over how "destined" this bit of musical nonsense has absolutely got to be "pulling me out of a hat." Being the highly evolved half-demoness of both the blog-o-sphere and the real world (plus a few other better off not mentioned dimensions) I will simply mockingly laugh over you humans holistic dedication to synchronicity.

(Afterthoughts)
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!!! Personally, I don't see the conditional relationship to me at all. But when I heard this classic on the radio the other night I thought y'all may find that somewhat amusing.

Knowledge is power

2009-10-29T19:59:00.002-04:00

Geek out to some science that I find fascinating.

(Afterthoughts)
Yeah, I'm a nerd girl, but this stuff intrigues me and keeps the rusty wheels squeaking in me head being forced to think.

Um, ok then ...

2009-10-21T18:12:00.002-04:00

I really don't know what to say about this one so just watch and wonder how hard the guy who made this had hit his head.

(Afterthoughts)
Admittedly I did giggle the whole time I first saw it.

Arghhhhhh!!!!!!

2009-10-17T04:13:00.003-04:00

Seriously, this is what they now expect us to do at work while speaking to customers on the phone, no joke. We are allowed to only keep someone on hold for merely one whole minute at a time before we have to check back in with them. That doesn't sound too bad initially until you actually put more than a single brain cell into thinking about how that will work out in reality. Most calls tend to result in quite a few of those one minute increments of hold time while features are being processed or research into billing issues are being looked into. So instead of being able to fully focus on solving problems in a short time, every single minute requires an interruption just so that we can add an additional 15-20 seconds to pop back on the line and let them know that we are still working on resolving their issue instead of actually working on it. So in theory, it can take about 3 minutes to add a single feature to their account but now with the check in requirement, that has now gotten stretched out to 5 minutes. Still that does not sound too bad in all honesty, until you factor in the fact that it is rare for someone to call only wanting a single feature added to their account. A good portion of calls are about issues with their billing and charges on those said bills, which often require 5-10 minutes of research and reading through several system notes on the account and looking over a couple of different bills. So now what could have been under a 10 minute call is going to be about twice that with the constant interruptions disturbing the focus of what exactly we were looking at and losing our place in the process of hunting down where the initial problem lies. Not to mention that the customer who is generally not all that happy to start with is going to get annoyed that we are spending just as much time letting them know we are working on their problem as we are actually trying to solve it.

In my experience, people do not really enjoy being put on hold but understand that it does take a bit of time to go through the process of fixing their issues or making changes to their accounts. They tend to be fine with spending a couple minutes on hold while we get the job done. I myself am content to have someone who gets the job done as compared to someone who keeps stopping to chat with me and let me know they are working on it. When you call in to get something fixed it is a normal assumption that they are working on and do not need their hand held and constantly reassured that it is being worked on.

I spent a couple minutes swearing about the stupidity of that to my boss today when she told us about that. Of course she was not surprised by my opinion of that policy and expected me to bitch over it. So I have two ways to deal with it:

1) I will just have to explain the policy to the customer and apologize right off the bat and tell them that I understand it will be annoying but we can make it quick and painless if they just say "OK" when I pop on the line and rattle off as quickly as I can speak "that I am just checking in with them while I continue to work on their issue" every freaking minute.

2) I can just take the sacrifice of 5 points (out of a potential 100) for long hold times if I happened to get a quality evaluation on that particular call.

Welcome to the wonderful world of "improvements" the higher up's decide is a great idea when they have no idea what it is actually like to be the one taking the calls or how great of an annoyance it is to the customers either.

(Afterthoughts)
I will flip back and forth between the two options to deal with this depending upon how I happen to feel at the moment and how cool the customer is.

For you information...

2009-10-17T02:29:00.003-04:00

Do y'all know the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu???

For the bird flu you get tweetment, and for the swine flu you you get oinkment!!!

(Afterthoughts)
Kudos to Mr. Jeffery for emailing me that little detail. Y'all have now been educated.

Almost a post

2009-10-14T01:41:00.002-04:00

There is a local anti-vampire habitat where the part-time residents go to absorb extra doses of the sun's rays in order to better fend off attacks to the neck. The name of the locale is "Almost Tan." Um, so does that mean that I get a discount (not that I would partake of such a service) for a partial service? Since you only get almost tanned shouldn't you almost pay the full price (just not quite the full amount)?!?

(Afterthoughts)
Long Dong Silver's has Fish Tacos for $0.99 if you want a cheap date.

Ok, ok, just one more...

2009-09-29T18:19:00.001-04:00

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?

Well-hung.

(Afterthoughts)
Tasteless yet satisfying.

Practical joke of the week

2009-09-29T17:28:00.002-04:00

As y'all damn well know (due mainly to my incessant bitching, of course) is that I am as tall as a 5'15" tree. That doesn't really factor into this story but I hate to miss an opportunity to rant.

My roommate and I stopped at a gas station to fill up the car and snag a couple packs of cigarettes. There were 2 cashiers working the counter and we each went to one of them. I was actually dressed rather nicely (too damn nice to be pumping gas) and the woman behind the counter commented that she loved my outfit and I looked really cute in it. To which my smartass reply was that my boyfriend who is at the other register makes me dress like this so that people will think he is straight. A few moments of dumbfounded silence before she stammered out that she never would have had any idea. At that point I start giggling and inform her that I was just joking much to her relief as she stated that she was glad because she had no idea what to say.

Then I get back out to the car to tell my roommate what I told the girl inside (minus the last part) just to see his eyes go wide as he stammers out a what the hell are you doing telling people I am gay, you are about to become the first girl I ever hit. All the while I am laughing so hard that I can barely breathe. I finally managed to tell the rest of the story with him shaking his head bitching about how I am one of the craziest girls he knows.

(Afterthoughts)
It is often people's reactions that make the joke better than the joke itself.

Redneck Reindeer Games

2009-09-22T01:41:00.002-04:00

Sad as it is to admit, some things are just plain fun even when you would prefer that nobody catches you at them. Examples are riding a scooter, shooting cans with a bb gun, pretending to ice skate on the hardwood floors in your socks, masturbating (master baiters catch more fish) , singing in the shower, samurai flower arrangement practice, burying bodies out in the deep woods, baking cookies (more for yourself), etc . . .

Now this game over yonder also falls into that category.

(Afterthoughts)
The simulation games know no bounds

Just go with it

2009-09-22T01:33:00.004-04:00

Since apparently getting y'all to keep your eyes on mine (and I am referring to the ones in my head) I am just gonna flow with it. Go on and follow this link for you to stay a happy, mindless guy (or lesbian if your boat floats smoothly down that crowded river as well). I lost interest within a few seconds but it is to be expected from a sweet, innocent, straight girl like me (since I likey the boys it isn't difficult to guess which one of the 3 options is the only correct one).

Clicky click clacky clack click click cleek here and check your morals at the door. The instructions are included in the package and may or may not self destruct in 10 seconds.

(Afterthoughts)
Best had wipe up that drool from the keyboard before it drains onto a live circuit.

HEY!!! Eye's up here!!!

2009-09-22T00:18:00.003-04:00

Yeah, yeah, do your double take and move on. There is nothing to see here, keep on moving down the road. Just a poor abused girl who got tied up and forced to dress nicely instead of the "girly tomboy" she general chooses.

(Afterthoughts)
The "girly tomboy" phrase is one my younger sister coined to describe me when we argued over which one of us has always been the tomboy. Although I worked on dirty machinery, she still had the skills for all the sports she tried and was less bothered by icky stuff like bugs than I was so I unofficially concede the point to her (but I refuse to publicly admit to that shortcoming of being "girly").

Self Service

2009-09-21T05:09:00.003-04:00

I must be getting old. I remember when you used to be able to go to a store and they would have a cashier (hell, I used to be one in high school at a drug store and split the week doing that with another girl in my school) who would look at the item to be purchased, punch the price of said item which was gained from the price tag sticker that was stuck on the item into the cash register, and add up your bag of goodies that caught yonder fancy that particular day. Then, because those registers were kinda sucky, you had to do some quick mental math to make change, which you learned to do rather quickly (using a few simple tricks). But nowadays, when you go to buy something they just have a "good faith" monitor watching a group of self service checkout lanes. So not only do I have to do the stores job, but I have to pay them for making me do all the work as well.

WTF!?! If I am saving a store money by doing their glamorous job of part-time cashier then why the hell do I not get some kind of extra discount incentive to do so. Seriously, why would anyone bother ringing up their own purchases (unless they are, um, cough cough, scamming the place) when they can take it easy and just stand and watch someone do that for them instead (which also helps keep their job secure) for the exact same cost. I swear that if I ran a shop of some kind I would just have to promote that nice little detailed fact:

"Come on down to Liz's second hand soul pawn shop where for our valued customer's convenience we have people to assist you with processing your purchases at no additional cost. That is right people, you heard me correctly, the cashier's at our wonderful and humble lil shop are a free service we provide to you for your personal convenience. So be sure to take advantage of that when y'all shimmy on over and give us a visit."

Now the reason I got angry today is due to when I was unable to pay my electric bill online due to it being a closed account since it is the final bill from the apartment. No way in hell to register it and get it setup to make online payments. Trust me, I wasted a good hour trying to find some computer logic loophole which would allow me to process that transaction via the majical computer box. So since I hate writing checks, I resigned myself to making a payment over the phone. Mindlessly punching buttons in the IVR system to get to a payment option, it finally rises out of the dark ocean of choices for me to spear with a desperate button mash. Instead of getting a live person, I get a damn computer that has me punch in my account number, card number, social security number, address, mother's maiden name, city I was born in, date I lost my first tooth, blood type, and a defining DNA marker in hexadecimal code, only to then be informed that she was "sorry Dave" (damn, drifted there for a minute), um, oh yeah, that there will be a $3.50 convenience fee added to my payment. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and whoa! I do not pay companies for the convenience of not having to deal with me, especially when I am doing their job for them!!! So I pressed 7-3-3-4-3-f-5-c-*-cue ball-3-8 -000-q or whatever the hell crazy option it was to cancel my payment. Then I hung up and called straight back into the IVR system and navigated my way through the deep and dark forest jungle of options and stalked my way to a live person in the billing department because if I am going to pay an extra $3.50 then someone is damn well going to process that payment for me and chat with me a little bit about whatever the hell I can trick them into talking about so that I feel like I at least got something for my money, even if it was overpriced, unsatisfying, and not something that I would recommend for a leisure activity.

(Afterthoughts)
Granted that my company charges $5 for making a payment over the phone with a live person but that is because it is to encourage people to process it themselves which avoids that fee. Getting charged for using a self-service option defeats the entire purpose of self-service and I am seeing more and more companies that seem to be forgetting that valuable bit of procedure.

Screw the cells

2009-09-20T02:41:00.005-04:00

For those of you who follow the cell phone feature trends, AT&T is releasing 2 brand new options this week. Oh, btw, when I say "brand new" I really mean they are finally getting around to offering services that other wireless carriers have already been offering for a long enough time period for a guy to grow an ankle length beard.

Slated for release on 09/20/2009 (or today for those who overlooked this postings date stamp) is something called the "A-list" which is nothing more than a long requested and long denied service of the now "old shoe" favorite list. Innovation knows no bounds for such an original idea. Color me less than impressed that they will now allow their customers to setup a list of a handful of phone numbers that they can call for free even if it is during their 15 hours of daily standard weektime daytime hours (at least they were smart enough to realize that weekends should be free).

Next, on 09/25/2009, is something that those who made the mistake of buying an iphone have most likely been painfully aware of the past few years: picture messages. Send a picture message to an iphone and what they actually receive is a text message with a link to a website where they can sometimes view that picture, and if they cannot get the picture to load (even odds) then you have managed to just waste 15 minutes of their life which they will never be able to get back. The fact that I am missing out on causing that annoyance to people does make me a bit sad because if I knew someone who had an iphone that mistakenly trusted me enough to give me their number, I would picture message the hell out of them simply for that reason alone. But alas, the self indulged zombies at Apple are finally releasing a software update for "the world's most advanced phone" which after several years of hard R&D and testing will allow iphones to send and receive picture messages just like the most basic $20 prepaid Go-Phone is capable of doing. All you will have to do is hook your iphone up to your icomputer via an icable and use your imouse to open itunes and install the isoftware iupdate (which was apparently created through some type of iritual which may or may not have involved iknives, premature dying ianimals, frightening and hastily drawn chalky isymbols, and oodles of iblood). After that has been completed then all you will have to do is call AT&T to talk to a frustrated and flusted customer service rep and scream at them for still not being able to properly send your friend (who lives next door and could more easily walk over and see the picture on your phone) the picture of your cat doing something which you think is award winning cute but everyone else finds lame and tiring enough to consider leaving a tasty bowl of antifreeze on their back porch as a "gift" for the overlooked talent master of looking at a camera with common animal stupidity.

(Afterthoughts)
Yes, I said your baby is stupid but when you start equating animals with humans then you are one step away from being willing to have sex with an animal. Hey, if it can be a human's babay then it had to come from somewhere, I can do the math bitches.

Back in the saddle again

2009-09-13T14:44:00.003-04:00

After a long deserved break, mainly due to moving from a tiny apartment into a two story house mostly full of people (cause we all know that I am nothing if not anti-social) and my bloody annoying internet service not being able to be transferred for an entire two week period, I am once again back in the online world realm once again. Actually, I have been back for about half a week but since the Hello Kitty mmorpg closed beta I was invited to test was activated right after I moved, I spent the past couple of days trying to catch up on it (read the profile people, still thinks of herself as a hard-core gamer girl, anyone remember that???).

The news you can use and the blathering that you could probably do without but keep reading anyways will be returning soon to a computer near you (sorry but it takes time to slip into you house while you are asleep and type this stuff on your computers).

(Afterthoughts)
Y'all knew that I would slink back out of the shadows to poke everyone with a stick again at some point, and that time is nigh, um, or something.

Where is my calculator???

2009-08-22T12:53:00.004-04:00

Yep, that is damn right! I am off to do some algebra, just try to stop me.

(Afterthoughts)
Go Team Smart(ass), hooray!!!

Damn tree huggers

2009-08-21T02:31:00.002-04:00

As if I needed yet another reason to hate those activists.

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women

(Afterthoughts)
At least my cage has a tight pair of headphones that come loaded with people screaming at me about how much they hate the cell service they willingly signed a contract with for 2 years.

More sound advice for the ladies (er, and some of the dudes)

2009-08-19T00:24:00.003-04:00

"Get down on your knees and close your eyes,
Open your mouth for a big surprise," said the guy with a cocky smirk on his charming face.

"Fool me once shame on you,
Fool me twice shame on me,
Fool me three times and I may as well start charging," I replied.

(Afterthoughts)
I'm not saying if that was based upon any of my true life experiences or not.

BRB

2009-08-18T01:15:00.002-04:00

I was gonna do a nice long rant tonight but instead am essentially ranting and bitching and yelling and laughing at my computer instead as I am taking a fun little test one of my friends found. I haven't managed to beat it as of yet but I will stay up as long as it takes (maybe) to complete it, or I might just go crazy (um, crazier???) instead. Try it if ya ain't a total sissy, um, which means most of y'all had better just turn your computers off now in terrible shame.

http://www.addictinggames.com/theimpossiblequiz.html?cid=YSSP

(Afterthoughts)
Still reading??? I guess you failed before even beginning then, muhahahahaha!!!!

Howdy crazy ladies ;)

2009-08-13T01:37:00.003-04:00

Hi y'all, apparently according to the word on the street, my one roommate's ex-girlfriend and her mother are both still stalking me via my blog. So in light of that I figured I would take the time out of my busy schedule just to say "HELLO" to the both of them and invite them to go ahead and slink out of the shadows and say "HI" back to me. Comments are open on here so you don't need any type of special account set up to leave a message.

(Afterthoughts)
I do appreciate your continued patronage and hope to see you both keep coming back.

So much for holistic theory

2009-08-09T04:12:00.000-04:00

(Afterthoughts)
I am soooooo disappointed :(

Ponder this ya tree hugger

2009-08-02T15:39:00.003-04:00

Here is the thought to consider for today:

Animal rights activists are cliche well known for throwing paint onto expensive (and gorgeous) fur coats. Isn't that essentially belittling all the animals who died to make that by totally ruining their noble sacrifice to serve the exceedingly wealthy?

(Afterthoughts)
Silly, silly tree huggers, sigh.

You read this blog, ... ACHIEVEMENT

2009-07-31T13:24:00.002-04:00

This is the reason I have not bothered to fix my PS3 yet. Seriously, gamers are totally screwed up in the head and I feel a hella lot better not being so immersed in that lifestyle nowadays.

(Afterthoughts)
Ok, ok, I just can't afford to fix my console yet. I'll be back in the loop someday.

My new fantasy job

2009-07-31T12:25:00.002-04:00

A whole new spin on the telepathic job market if ya happen to be too prissy to get a bit sticky (it ain't that bad, ya got to shower some time anyways).

(Afterthoughts)
All I need to do is find some toxic waste then watch the cash roll on in.

Take your temperature

2009-07-31T11:31:00.002-04:00

Music video Friday in celebration of the scalding summer temperatures. Do you know where your ice cubes are?

(Afterthoughts)
Nothings like the classics. By they way, your ice cubes are that puddle on the floor.

Like the Wii? Then go burn in hell bitch

2009-07-30T00:19:00.004-04:00

Granted that I once owned a Wii console myself for a brief couple of months before I gave it to my sister's family for my little nephews to play with since they found the poor controls, childish games, and amusement from games taking less skill than extreme luck to successfully manage a lot more enjoyable than I ever was able to. Here is yet another excellent example of why I am right and everyone who is over the age of 2 years old and is delusional enough to believe that they are actually having fun with it are completely and totally WRONG!!!

(Afterthoughts)
Generally I am open to various opinions and preferences on a myriad range of topics, but this time if you feel differently, then screw you!

Fairness for all

2009-07-28T17:20:00.003-04:00

Due to our boring lives in my 'lil house, we decided to truck on over to the next county over in order to go visit their county fair. We came to that exciting decision yesterday after seeing commericals for it on the TV's at the plasma donation center (which we saw played several times). Let's just say that it was a bit of an underwhelming experience but considering that we honestly did not have any thing better to do, it was alright in that comparison. At least I got a nice picture out of it and got to wear a cute dress that spends almost the entire time hanging in my closet, lost and forgotten.

(Afterthoughts)
Yeah I'm cuter than you, deal with it, MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Death to Indonesia

2009-07-26T19:43:00.002-04:00

I literally spent nearly half an entire day trying to get the Hello Kitty mmorpg downloaded and running on my computer after one of my roommates ran across it a couple days ago. After I finally managed to get it loaded up and several failed login attempts, I scoured the forums trying to find a solution to my problem. Lo and behold, someone else has the exact same problem I was and the answer provided to them was thus:

Right now the only version that is live is the Indonesian version, which you can find at http://hellokittyonline.co.id/ . If you've downloaded the game from anywhere else, it's for a version that is not up and running.

Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn and damn!!!!!!!!

The english version is supposed to be opened up soon and until then I either have to show untypical patience or learn to read Indonesian.

(Afterthoughts)
Sigh, I'm so sad. And no, I am not getting soft, I like Hello Kitty because she is soooo damn creepy, how could I not admire and love her. :)

Musical video Fridayishness

2009-07-24T12:27:00.002-04:00

With so many people's out there in the wild bluish green yonder posting songs/lyrics of meaningful proportions, I decided to hop up onto the bandwagon and join in the festivities. This is one of my current favs I have been playing a lot of lately that holds some subtle personal meaning to none other than myself (um, of course). Oh yeah, y'all probably wanted to know the deep rooted meaning I find nestled within it's deep dark walls ... Let's just go with an amusing rendition of my fall from grace into my half-demoness nature. Go Team Darkness!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!

Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie

My baby, my baby,
Let me know
because you love me, you love me
Let me go
And you're my lover, you pay me
Twice my size
And on your knees you lay
In my thighs

Take my hand and let's end it all
She broke her little bones
On the boulders below
Take my hand and let's end it all

My baby, my baby
Let me go
And if you love me, you love me
Let me go
Cause I'm your brother, your brother
Have some pride
And now you love me, you love me
Then die tonight

Take my hand and let's end it all,
She broke her little bones
On the boulders below
Take my hand and let's end it all
Broke her little bones
On the boulders below
And while she fell I delightfully said

Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie

She took my hand and I let her go
She broke her little bones
On the boulders below
Took my hand and she ended it all
Broke her little bones on the boulders below
And while she fell, I smiled.

Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie

(Afterthoughts)
The last line says it all, "And while she fell, I smiled," and even today I still do otherwise my mind would probably break along with what is left of my soul.

BOO!!!

2009-07-19T01:23:00.005-04:00

I'm been a bit busy lately and neglecting things here... um, too bad so sad, blah blah blah. I did however actually clean up nice for work today and decided to post a pic as proof and give me a reason to at least write some type of pointless drivel so y'all know that I am still alive.

The reason I have been away from the whole blogging world lately and mostly ignoring everyone else's blogs as well other than a quick speed read scan every few days is due to my PS3 dying on me a couple weeks ago. Since that happened everyone in my house (all 3 of us) have started playing a free mmorpg called Destiny. We are playing on the Penguin server if anyone decides to join in. It is kinda a cute game (much to my roommates disgust) and they complain to me a bit too often that it had to have been designed by a group of chicks (hooray, I sure as hell hope so). But that is what has been sucking away my free time, and speaking of which, is exactly where I am off to now.

(Afterthoughts)
Um, never mind, I got a game to get to...

Why English Teachers Die Young

2009-07-03T03:44:00.000-04:00

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of similes and metaphors found in actual high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are some recent ones.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances, like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3.. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound
a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools..

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

(Afterthoughts)

I found this particularly amusing considering that my sister has a teaching degree in English and ironically teaches Art (which she got her second teaching degree in).

I am not a hat

2009-07-01T00:34:00.001-04:00

If you don't get it then you have already been brainwashed. Go off and do your little dance then.

(Afterthoughts)
Sheesh, it is from a Pinky and the Brain episode (and no, I am not telling which one).

Politically incorrect festival

2009-06-14T02:48:00.003-04:00

Apparently they have what is known as a "pride festival" going on in my state capital this weekend. Being brimming with pride in my own overflowing awesomeness, it would seem like the ideal place for me to go to expand my massive infamy. However, I discovered, luckily before I made the drive, that they used "pride" in an entirely alternate meaning. And when I say "alternate," I really mean the fabulously decorated type of alternate. Turns out that pride is actually rather gay, and I mean that in the literal sense. Not really the best place for a common as dirt, poorly dressed, straight girl to go wandering off into. Especially when she is half-demoness and half-Amazonian which could very easily cause me to be mistaken as some type of big burly dominating lesbian (other than the bulging muscles which I totally lack along with completely zero desire of sexual interest in other women). I love my gay and lesbian friends, but purely in a platonic way and plan on it staying that way.

So in honor of the hardships and trials of lifestyles of my friends who swing to a much more fabulous beat, here is a rainbow for y'all.

(Afterthoughts)
If you wish to read about the unfairness of a rainbow being used as a symbol for alternative lifestyles (did anyone ask it if it wanted to be that type of symbol???), Tannerleah did a wonderful post on that subject titled "Why Do Rainbows Have To Be Gay?" which you all should go read right this instant.

Poop Freeze

2009-06-13T15:11:00.004-04:00

In yet another truth is stranger than fiction story, I ran across this legitimate product for sale. Poop Freeze. At the top of the screen it has a picture of a smiling dog head wearing sunglasses with a caption bubble saying, none the less, "Just frost & toss!"

Their official advertise goes as such (thanks to the wonderful and magical world of "cut and paste").

POOP-FREEZE™ is an emergency pet product that every pet owner should have. Just keep it under the sink for those occasions in which your pet has diarrhea or loose stool. Poop Freeze is ideal for new pet owners as their pets are learning the basics of potty training. Poop Freeze is also great for seasoned pet owners whose pets occasionally make a mess in the house. Poop Freeze is safe to use both on carpet and vegetation. Just Frost & Toss with Poop Freeze.

Poop Freeze "frosts" poop in order to make it easier to pick-up. This frosting gets rid of most smells right away. All sales are final.

Why stop there? It would be great for little kids as well. Or how about poor old grandpa and his embarrassing little problem, the solution is in the can (so to speak).

I'm sure it would great fun at parties as well: no need to buy a ball for the kids to play with, just provide a high fiber meal and before you know it you can dress all the kids up in monkey suits and let them go wild, and all without the unsightly mess.

Care about the environment, then take sculpture to an all new level, or even carve dolls for the younglings to play house with. Oh boy Barbie, smells like Ken needs a bath, ha ... ha ... ha.

Makes an even better prank for the neighbors too: just imagine the laughs when they go to stomp out that flaming paper bag only to fracture their foot when they slam their arch on top of it. The laughs as y'all reminiscence about that will last for a lifetime.

I am just wondering why y'all are still reading this instead of ordering it before supplies run out.

(Afterthoughts)
Those damn dirty apes. (I may have just sunk to an all time low with this post, sheesh).

Cupid had a heart attack

2009-06-12T15:02:00.001-04:00

Nothing like reminiscing about former love.

(Afterthoughts)
It was the last story that made the entire episode. Kinda reminds me of what people look like when I start talking.

5 year old's first job

2009-06-11T13:39:00.002-04:00

I would once again like to think Mr. Jeff for providing me with yet another post via email story.

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

(Afterthoughts)
Sort of reminds me of myself at that age although I had a doll for an administrative assistant.

inFamous

2009-06-11T03:35:00.001-04:00

The review of my current video game which is sucking away my sleep like a greedy cholesterol vampire locked away in a chicken skin pudding factory.

(Afterthoughts)
Ironic that I was planning on doing the good character until later on just to screw with the npc's.

Asleep at the wheel

2009-06-11T03:18:00.004-04:00

Um, just ignore the dates next to my postings [these are not the droids you are looking for] etc... I have been recently neglecting things here and the cobwebs and dust are building up and I promise that I intend to remedy that soon. Honestly, between work and school and writing for my mystery side project which I refuse to ever discuss on here (um, other than just now apparently), time has been scarce. Factor in that I have a new video game (Infamous) y'all can understand the oversight. See ya soon.

(Afterthoughts)
Really, that is the entire post. It is like getting to the bottom of the cereal box only to discover that the toy had gotten broken into several jagged pieces and most likely quite a few of the chunks had gotten eaten. Not really the best surprise one can hope for even though technically is does qualify as one hell of a surprise (and maybe a visit to the hospital).

Fun with dynamite

2009-05-31T14:27:00.002-04:00

This is the actual original newscast from 1970. More proof that truth is stranger than fiction.

You can visit the official website to learn more of the amazing details.

(Afterthoughts)
Damn tree huggers would not allow such a sweet possibility to ever happen again. I guess there were a few good things that came out of the 70's,um, including me.

Enjoy your weekend

2009-05-29T15:50:00.000-04:00

(Afterthoughts)
Looks like a great idea!

Of course I'm freaking tall, you damn eyes are correct

2009-05-24T02:24:00.002-04:00

Yes it is true, I'm fucking tall, or to better put it... I don't own a ladder since it would be a waste of money. At a dizzying 6'3" while barefooted, and no, I do not wear heels ... ever ... because I have common sense and get annoyed when the other rare tall girls bitch about the problems they encounter while doing that. But that is a rant in and of itself.

The brief point I am getting close to physically making is that one of the foolish humans who asks me if I played basketball yet again is going to get a basketball shoved down their fool throat right before I string them up from a hoop.

(Afterthoughts)
Y'all most likely already figured out the question of the day I had to endure again at work.

Love the planning

2009-05-23T15:19:00.002-04:00

As yet another twisted situation of truth being stranger than fiction:

The road I live on runs the entire length of one whole block with a T road at each end. The street sign at the east side says "Ave." while the street sign at the west end says "St." Damn, gotta love governmental planning.

(Afterthoughts)
I could have taken pictures as proof but that seemed like too much work for something typically screwed up.

Season 3 for you & me :)

2009-05-23T02:42:00.003-04:00

The newest season of Unforgotten Realms is now officially started. Here is the premier episode to start things off. If you missed out on the first 2 seasons, drop what you are doing and follow the link to watch them now !!!!

(Afterthoughts)
Hell yeah, makes me wanna cast a spell ...

School (yawn) report

2009-05-23T01:45:00.002-04:00

This is one of the assignments I did this past week for my ethics class (which I think is a cruel class to make a half-demoness take). It was in answer to a question about how much responsibility a person has with free-will.

Free will or not free will, and how can we ever tell for sure which one is accurate? If someone knows what the future holds, then there would not be any free will because the way events and actions will occur has already been determined. We could no more alter the future than we could alter the past. The best that we would have is a mere illusion of free will with no more actual power to shape events than the characters in a book could change the story that they are in. If that is the case then we have no responsibility for our actions since there is absolutely no way at all to change our behavior. However, since we have no practical way of knowing if free will is simply an illusion, we have to assume that we are in control of our choices. That means that we are responsible for what we do and how we do it. Of course there are various degrees that lessen the levels of that based on the mental capacity of the person involved. Obviously a small child is unable to make an advanced moralistic judgment as hopefully compared to an adult. Then there are people who are stricken with diseases of the mind which limit their understanding of ethical concerns as well. For the most part we are able to take full credit for our actions with only an occasional lessening based on unique situations where rash decisions or desperation was required such as the “kill or be killed” scenario.

(Afterthoughts)
I have gotten into arguments with my apartment's local self proclaimed prophet over free will several times already and had to rewrite that posting a few times before I could turn it in since I turned extremely vindictive and angry in my writing as the memories of our fights surfaced in my typing. It is annoying to fight with someone who thinks we have no free will because god knows everything, including the future which means events are already set, then turns around claiming that we can still make choices. Argh!!!!

Tombstone

2009-05-22T15:24:00.004-04:00

I would like to thank a friend for sending me another wonderful email (hint: this post is that email). However I kinda disagree with it since I think our country actually died long ago and current events are just part of our eternal punishment.

Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul , Minnesota , points out some interesting facts concerning the Presidential election:

* Number of States won by: Democrats:19 Republicans: 29
* Square miles of land won by: Democrats: 580,000 Republicans: 2,427,000
* Population of counties won by: Democrats:127 million Republicans: 143 million
* Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Democrats: 13.2 Republicans: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Republican won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country. Democrat territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."

Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegals and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years. If you are in favor of this, then by all means, ignore this message.

If you are not, then pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.

(Afterthoughts)
If y'all wanna be a commie, then ya ain't ever gonna like reading a lot of what I post. Pa, go grab me shotgun!

Thee Dragon Slayer Comith

2009-05-21T14:21:00.002-04:00

Ahhh, death in even it's tiniest form can be misconstrued into something full of grandeur and megalomania.

Today's adventure consisted of me returning sleepy-eyed to my apartment door after stumbling out to the mailbox to collect nothing less than my very own single piece of mail (surprise surprise). As I stood in the glaring sunlight finishing a cigarette, I noticed a little wasp nest in the corner of my doorway, with a yellow striped flying and poison coated sword it wielded with it's ass. Damn! I'm not sure if such a skill is more creepy, disturbing, impressive, or just disgusting!?! I battled it with my own sword (er, flyswatter) but ended in a mere draw (er, me running and screaming like a little girl back into my apartment where I locked the door as if that would help).

Hand to hand combat would not work against this devious creature so what options did I have left (my damn neighbor is gone for a few days and could not champion this poor damsel). So falling back on my half-demoness nature I thought perhaps I could nag it to death (or at least leaving my cave entrance). Again no luck other than the general agitation I usually cause. So back into my lair to lurk whist pondering my next option.

Hi Ho! I live in America and therefore should utilize our rich and overkill combative culture. CHEMICAL WARFARE!!! First attack to soften 'em up, 409 (which kills ants almost instantly for those who did not know that little fact since I'm all about education or something???). I think it freaked the enemy out a bit and cause the vile creature to become dangerously erratic. Perhaps not my best choice since it showed such enduring armor. Trial 2 I had more hope for, Scrubbing Bubbles! I calculated that if I could encase it in toxic foam it would surely struggle for a while until it worked itself into exhaustion and succumbed to death.

First blast produced a ball of foam totally encasing it giving me a brief flash of arrogant satisfaction, right up to the point that the little ball of buzzing fury started to shake its way out of the toxin. Another blast, then another, then another, then yet another, and still it kept coming and breaking free. Then finally silence. Was it preparing for a final all out counterattack? As I stood on guard, watching ... waiting ... scanning the blob of foam sliding down my doorway it finally appeared out of the gloom. I silently observed it's cold and lifeless body drift down to the ground in a pool of lemon scented foam, never to move another jagged limb again.

Victory is mine!!!!!

(Afterthoughts)
It was a somber victory at best since such a difficult and well executed battle with thine enemy deserves a show of respect for it's worthy and honorable death.

Game not quite over

2009-05-17T14:24:00.002-04:00

Ok, I actually played my new (and improved?) Wolverine game last night. I admit that I was kinda nervous because (1) movie tie-in games always suck & (2) I still have nightmares from the game on the PS2 a few years back (if you played it you know exactly what I meant). The new (and improved?) game is actually pretty kick ass. I had enough blood drenched mutant healing factor slice and dice fun that I stayed up until almost 7am this morning playing it (I got home at 1:30am from work). So yeah, I am hella tired but it was sooooo worth it, and I'll do it again tonite at least to the time when my eyes burn too bad to see very well.

(Afterthoughts)
By the way Mr. Jeff, you will be happy to know that it does not take 8 hours to kill Wendigo in this game (superfist of the bad memory... full body shiver attack!)

New game

2009-05-16T15:23:00.002-04:00

My birthday (May 12th) was a fairly underwhelming affair. I went to the laundry mat (woo hoo???) and then got all dolled up (eek, rare occurrence) and sat on my couch reading a book. I sent out a few text messages to some of my friends since we had all agreed to go out to the bar to celebrate me turning 35 Yep, 35, I am not gonna lie about my age like the freaking pissed off cliche chicks who switch into pure bitchy mode if someone even hints they might be anything other than 29 at the absolutely eldest regardless of the fact that your grandmother looks younger than them. Of course I did not hear a single thing back from any of them so I said hell with it and decided to stay in and enjoy a quiet night to myself for once.

That didn't quite work out that way although it was not too far off. My neighbor stopped by around 11 pm and decided to take me out to eat. Hooray for Denny's being open 27/7. Then yesterday (Friday which was 3 days after my birthday) I got a card in the mail from my Mom. She sent me a gift card for Wal-Mart and my 2 oldest nephews sent me headbands and ponytail holders (yea!) conveniently stuffed inside the card.

Every single year since before I was a teenaged moody/bitchy girl (funny how things never seem to change) I have gotten a videogame for both my birthday and Christmas each year with no break in that tradition. So to keep things going I used most of the gift card to buy a birthday game (she sent a giftcard so I could pick out what game I wanted). Sadly, they have a poor selection most of the time (um, try a Gamestop card next time, OK) but I finally decided upon "X-Men Origins Wolverine, -Uncaged Edition-" since it seemed like the best choice which I did not already own.

As far as what makes it an "uncaged edition" I have no idea since every copy I have seen of this game claims the same thing. It was my understanding that in order to have any type of special edition product, you first needed an inferior original product to compare it to and spout out how much better the newer and shinier one is. But alas, clever marketing has totally cut out the inconvenience of promoting the original and jumped straight to the improved version but cutting out the middle man game in the first place.

That is total fucking crap! A clever and misleading marketing scheme does not have the ability to make anything better by simply slapping a nicer label on it. Don't like the taste of Haggis then try the new and improved version which you can tell is totally different because it says so on the packaging. Blah!

(Afterthoughts)
Watch for my new and improved special -uber bitchy edition- blog coming soon to a computer near you!!!