Disorientation

Salutations to y'all on this fine and wonderfully wondering wonderful day! How do I know it's a great day? Well, . . . I see the sunlight peeking through the sides of the curtains and the happy squawks of the vultures that continually circle above my neighborhood are those of mild discontent from a lack of suitable small decaying animals to munch upon. But I digress because there is one other trivial thing on the "good day" agenda which tips the scale in it's favor (just by a tiny bit). I start my new job on Monday. (Or am I just messing with ya? Read on to find out, MUHAHAHA.)

My roommate knows a few people who work there and they like it. It pays about half (or less) than what my career skills qualify me for, but since this job is not in my past decade or so of experience, and that it pays more than unemployment does, and will keep me from either starving or "forgetting" to pay a few bills, I'm all for it. Kinda odd to go from a cnc machinist to customer service agent answering phones for tech support for a telecommunications company, but I hate machining anyway and it would give me a break from doing that (which I need every so often). So when I dropped off my application on Thursday, they looked it over real quick to make sure I had a high school diploma, gave it back to me and said to come back on Tuesday for a group interview.

*Tick tock said the mouse when the trap slammed shut (few days pass by)*

Tuesday was interview time with about a dozen or so people. Mostly we sat around listening to vague descriptions of what we would be doing, took a couple written tests (simple as pie but not quite as tasty) then we had the test I was dreading. We had to do a phone voice test, which consisted of reading a couple paragraphs off of a piece of paper, and guess who had to go first (of course). Blah blah blah, everyone reads it, some of them very poorly and inarticulated, and the interview is over with us being informed that we will be contacted one way or the other by the end of the week.

At 9 o'clock the next morning (after I had just gone to bed a little after 5 o'clock) I get woken up to a phone call. I passed the interview process and had orientation Thursday afternoon. That was my fun situation of today. We filled out a few pieces of paper (mostly signatures) then had to dig a photo ID out so we could take a drug test. Surprise, it was an oral drug test. Hmmm, the only oral drug tests I had ever done consisted of my group of friends seeing which one of us could handle the most and outlast the others and stay the most coherent. But you have a big piece of cotton on a plastic stick (more like a low quality lollipop than a q-tip) and have to keep it in your mouth for 3 minutes letting it soak up spit. Next surprise was that it was stomach turning nasty flavored (I wanted a refund) and I got to enjoy that for what seemed like about a half hour (damn time perception should have went the other way, blech). We stuff them into this tube and seal it up and it has a paper in it that gets lines on it which determine the results. One of the girls at my table noticed that another girls tube was pink (noone else's was) and she said she had been sucking on a cough drop all day, and we all cracked up laughing. Of course that got not only our trainer's attention, but the entire classes as well. She came over to our table smiling and said that everyone is sitting their quietly and we were the only ones looking at each other's test bottles trying to figure out if they were good or not as if we had any idea what to even look for, lol. But mine came out clean (I'm such a good girl, luckily the massive amount of alcohol I drank at the bar last night had burned off lol). So I start training on Monday 4pm-midnight, 5 days a week for 8 weeks, getting paid for it the whole time also.

(Afterthoughts)
Back again among the rats and their mazey crazy race. Go Team Paycheck!