Non xmas synopsis

I'm back home, tired and hungry and bored (skip the 'oh my' Dorthy) and decided staring at a computer screen for a few minutes should make me tired enough to outvote hunger so I can get more than 3-4 hours of sleep like I seem to be doing way too much lately (most of this week yet again, hooray, um, I mean damn.)

Hopefully I will not be doing any more traveling up north for a while. Of course, I also have been saying that I am gonna quit smoking any day now and that hasn't worked out very well for me yet (it's almost as if those things were addictive, but why would they sell them everywhere if they were?)

And 3 days without alcohol either which is gonna hurt my reputation as a lush if I didn't know that I will fix that Friday or Saturday night (ok, ok, so I am simply a borderline alcoholic, I just don't have the thirst in me to cross over that line, I have tried and I just have too weak of a stomach for it and too high of an alcohol tolerance.)

The silver nail polish I bought the other day (looking for something more grayish) got tested out tonight and is hella uberbitchin'. It's like I have fingertips made of tin foil but with the strength of brittle plastic (I break them often if you missed the sarcasm, lol.)

That wicked cut on my left hand's knuckle lost the scab finally (yeah, I know that is because I scratch at it constantly, lol) and revealed that underneath it was not a pot of gold, or even a pot of good coffee (almost anything other than Starbucks), but had yet another scab lying in wait to see the light of day and bask in the golden rays of the morning sun. Chances are that I am gonna have a nice scar when it heals up in another month or 2. At least it will go good with all the others (gotta love being such a clumsy girl, um, second thought says screw that, being clumsy sucks.)

(Afterthoughts)
Tired wins, zzzzzzzzzz.

Fabicklously Negatastic

That is my mood for today (and also my newest catch phrase I came up with last week.)

Obligatory Christmas Story

SIMPLE WHITE ENVELOPE

It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so. It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas -- oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it -- the overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma -- the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.

Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And, as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, 'I wish just one of them could have won,' he said. 'They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.'

Mike loved kids -- all kids -- and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came.

That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition -- one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning, and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us. May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the season, and the true Christmas spirit this year and always. God Bless! -- pass this along to those friends and loved ones who you know are the givers who understand the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

(Afterthoughts)
When I read the email that story came in it was pretty much not what I expected to find find scanning thru messages and caught me by surprise (and with some serious tears.) At least now the required touching Xmas story is out of the way, um, go team humbug. ;)

In retrospect...

Being half demoness (even though I'm usually a sweetie, blah *gag, gag*) it really isn't too damn surprising that I have a huge well of rage inside of me. But days like this make me realize that I will always have my half demons nature when how easy it is for me to tap into the well of rage and feel the fires that burn deep down inside of me burst into a fireball with barely a thought.

It always reminds me of this quote from the Terry Pratchett book, Monstrous Regiment.

"Good evening, gentlemen!" said the vampire. "Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It's not tearing your throats out that doesn't come easily to me. Please don't make it any harder."

(Afterthoughts)
Scary but so damn true. Just replace vampire with half demoness and you got me clocked pretty damn good.

I'm cute (*wink*)

For all of you teasing me about being cute here is my, um, revenge?

My favorite Xmas song

With all the Christmas music playing freaking everywhere, I would not have the audacity to force even more of it down your throats if this one wasn't so damn awesome (and funny as hell and a bit sarcastic.) It is one of my all time favorite's for this particular holiday. Enjoy.

Reaper (the TV show, not me)

This is my current favorite show. I bought season 1 of it the other week and started watching it this weekend only to become instantly hooked. So in my general shameless promotion, here is a 5 minute trailer for it. Enjoy.

The street price of needles

Here is the price I had to pay,
For getting blood drawn today,
And I must say,
Bruise go away,
I don't want you to stay,
It's pain makes me gray,
With feelings of dismay,
What I need to feel okay,
Is a pretty bouquet.

(Afterthoughts)
OMG, the demoness side takes a 5 minute ciggy break and the girl goes all silly on us, damn crazy chick.

Santa Foamy

I got just greatest thing ever out of the blue right when I needed something special the most. About 2 weeks ago I was talking with #4's boyfriend about trying to find a Santa hat for my Foamy doll that I set out on my toolbox at work every night. Then 2 days ago I get a text to come over to the car when he picks #4 up after work because he had something he thought I might be interested in. Ended up being a good night to do that because even though it was a slick walk across the parking lot, my car was a polygon of ice from the freezing rain we had been receiving all day. Lo and behold, a tiny little Santa hat was waiting for me. He wasn't sure it would fit very well but tried it on #4's doll (I bought him one and you can see him in all kinds of awesome pics from #4's hike this summer in the slideshow on the side.) So I stuck it on the doll I have at my house for the picture (on top of my dvd's, left of a rack of videogames, right of a physics demo showing center of balance [nerd alert] and the little jar holding my old D&D dice [double nerd alert, lol.]).

(Afterthoughts)
It is sooo adorable, and the guys that walk by kinda roll their eyes but the few women get a huge smile and their eyes light up when they walk by it. And on a more evil note (I'm half demoness, remember) it is turning out to be an interesting field test gaydar because a few guys we suspect of being buried in the closet have shown reactions closer to the women's (I know it's not very accurate but damn it, somedays I'm just bored as hell at work and have to amuse myself somehow.)

Holiday update

There was a lot of good times had over the holidays with my little nephews that I will cherish forever. A few bad times too (no more dating the guy I had started seeing, that is over almost before it started). But spending a couple days with my favorite little boys was the highlight of my month and always makes my 3 1/2 drive worth it. No matter how cold hearted I manage to become, they just have a way of melting all the ice the instant I see them.

(Afterthoughts)
It took me about all of 5 miles of driving home before I started crying because I missed my nephews and long after the trip was over to stop choking back the tears and manage to make myself numb enough to only vaguely feel the pain (damn emotions lol.)

I want y'all fattened up in case I get snowed in with you this winter, ya know, just in case I get hungry

Free Myspace Graphics

Shhhhh

Hmmm, what did I do with the rest of my weekend? I'm gonna be sly and coy and not say anything other than I actually felt happy because of it for once. And I actually managed to sleep without a 'death hug' on my teddy bear and also slept better than I have in a very long time. Details later at some point.

(Afterthoughts)
Of course I'm back to my insomnia and exhaustion tonight, but I could really use more days/nights like Saturday. Don't y'all hate it when I do teaser blogs? I got to keep ya coming back somehow now that the cookies are all gone, bwahaha. But I really do feel good (bad mood will return soon, I promise.)

An entire wasted year

As I was getting ready for bed and stepped outside for a ciggy before I laid down, I had the great idea to calculate out how many ciggies I have smoked thru the years. It was a horrifying number that even estimating lowly, still seemed incomprehensible. So I turned that into a dollar amount and discovered that I have roughly spent an entire years salary on them. Damn. Effing screw those things, I would have spent the money in bits and pieces elsewhere but seeing that number was the shock I needed to finally quit for good. So I am making sure I remember this mood by posting from my cell as I lie on my bed (and cry myself to sleep.)

(Afterthoughts)
If I seem bitchier than usual this week you now know why. I'll try to tone it down but stress always brings out the demoness side when I deal with people and then I cry my eyes out when I have time alone. Bring on the emotional roller coaster and let's get this over with.

Just a lil ole hobby

"HA HA Speed, you get no photo this time, HA HA!"

In the dark recesses of the back corner of the top drawer of my toolbox at work lurks a small white plastic box. And for those brave enough to dust off the top of it and slowly open up the creaky rusted plastic hinged lid will gaze in horror at the contents inside ..... severed human hand! Muhahaha! Oh, wait a minute, I'm thinking of a different box in a different drawer, sorry, my bad. The contents of this box are almost as horrifying, it is full of damaged and mutilated .... coins (that ended up being underwhelming.) I collect the rare coins that I find which are damaged beyond use in vending machines. Some have been deliberately hurt by persons unknown but ended up still being spendable and I received them as change at some shop, others I have found lying in parking lots. But each one has it's own unique personality to it, and have been abused and mistreated and have become outcasts in the monetary society and most people would call them monsters because of simply what they are.

I keep them because they are a lot like me. Most of my damage has been to my mind and what is left of my soul, although I also do have a decent selection of physical scars from working in a factory around sharp metal and dangerous tools everyday. Every so often when I feel like giving up, I will dig out my box of coins and look thru them. Even with all the damage they continue to endure. Even with the shape they are in, if I chose to I could take them to a shop and spend them. There is some sort of clever metaphor about despite the damage we receive we are still vital and functional members of society, although for me it tends more towards that even though I may be a monster (or half demoness to be accurate) that I am able to jump into circulation at any time and be a useful asset to society, and although I may gain a bit more attention than the average coin because I am a tall girl (and act goofy as hell) I still get viewed as just another coin.

(Afterthoughts)
Yes that was a speed racer joke. And there was your half assed mysticism wisdom to get you by until the next random encounter.

Hit me with a stick and candy falls out

I may be filled with hate and rage but it is covered in a gooey carmel center, so it's all ok. How is that possible? Elfin magic, that's how. I guess noone realized I was a keebler product, lol. However, it ended up being unpopular and dissatisfying for some reason and got discontinued, only to be replaced with something sweeter.

(Afterthoughts)
Damn it, I feel all sickly sweet. It makes me feel all mooshy and my demoness half feel all iccky. I hate enjoying it, but I really do like it, argh.

Evil description

What evil lurks in the hearts of men? Not me, that's for sure. I lurk outside of their hearts, peering in at them thru the glass jars on the shelf I keep their hearts inside of. MUHAHAHA!

(Afterthoughts)
Hee hee, I'm finally in a slightly better mood as y'all can tell. ;)

Unforgotten Realms

I love this show and keep forgetting to post the trailer for it, so here ya go, finally. There is just something appealing about an RPG hero who creates a lumberjack class and duel wields old carriage wheels as shields (to get twice the protection of a zero armor class bonus, lol.) Check out season one here, the episodes are about 10 minutes long and simply funny as hell even if you never played D&D. Season two starts on Nov. 20th.

(Afterthoughts)

There is just so many good things to say about this show from its immature banter that ends up surprising you when it leads to a joke that is way too clever to the surprising plot turns (and the not so surprising ones are done even better, lol.)

Well put indeed

“To be nobody - but - yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” - e. e. cummings

(Afterthoughts)
That is the struggle that we all face everyday, regardless of what path we take or how far we have come. Although we may disagree on countless points, in the end it is our striving for our true selves and the bonds created in helping each other accomplish that which hold us all together. Hugs to everyone who reads this, not only for being there for me and giving me the strength to stay on course, but also for helping each other. I rarely say it (blah blah reputation to uphold blah blah) but I love and appreciate you all. Thank you all for watching my back.

Powerless

Ha, I bet y'all are expecting a deeply heartfelt and sad post about the feelings of helplessness obtained from a depressing "kick in the teeth" society full of apathetic drones drifting thru a vibrant color palette of life which they only ever see in shades of ash. Sorry, just a misleading title (although I was starting to get into a groove there, lol.)

On the good side of my insomnia however is that I can get away without much makeup because my eyes always look like I have a slightly purplish pinkish eyeshadow on all the time (um, unless I cover it with a different color obviously, lol.) Goal! Demoness scores a point, muhahaha.

(Afterthoughts)
I was gonna write more but my brain blanked out, damn human half needing her beauty sleep.

Didn't even get kissed

I had a couple blogs planned instead of this rant which would have been a hella lot more entertaining but since I'm fucking pissed as hell, y'all get this instead (honestly, I feel sorry for making ya read this.)

I spent about 4 hours putting together a simple computer desk after work last night (it should have been about a one hour job, thanks crappy instructions, I love dismantling most of my work so that I can flip a small board over so that it could be finished) and still managed to get 5-6 hours of sleep (hooray!) I really wanted to skip work and sleep until mid-afternoon but had to get up and drag my ass into the factory instead. So I clock in and take the damn long walk to about the farthest area away from the door in the plant as they can possibly get since I am working on the other machines in my cell right now since the lathes up front don't currently have any work for them. As #4 and I get back there, we see that the doors to our area are closed (it's on the other side of a wall and they have a gate across the doorway which I have never seen closed before.) It wasn't locked but they had the 2 doors tied shut, so WTF!, screw that, I cut the tape to see why the damn things were closed. Lo and behold, they painted the effing floor all around the 2 machines. Damn son of bitches, why the hell did they do that, seriously, why did noone tell anyone else that was going to be done this weekend. Well, I spied a way to squeeze around to get to the machines and we could see that one of them had a part loaded on it so #4 works his way over and yells at me that the other machine is empty. And the parts that need to go on it are across one of the isles that they painted today, so no way in hell we could get them from point A to point B without tracking thru wet paint. Luckily they had moved my toolbox over infront of the machines so I told #4 to use my spare key and just use my tools today so he could run the machine that was loaded and I went walking around the factory to see if there was anything else I could work on today. The only thing else I could have ran ended up being in an unknown state because the other machinists who work over there (in my old area) rarely leave notes, and even when they do they are often vague and inconclusive or simply downright confusing. So my next stop is to read the overtime list to find out who we have as a supervisor today and give him a call. He was not very happy to find out that they had painted around machines that were supposed to be ran today but agreed that there was nothing we could do about it at this point and although he was kinda pissed about that happening, appreciated the heads up about the situation and for letting him know I was heading back home.

(Afterthoughts)
The worst part is that I need the sleep and although I have the opportunity to do so, totally lack the ability to get any rest at this point and will be awake until the extreme early morning hours that I am typically up until anyways. Grrrrr!

EEK!

--- embarrassing story team go ---

I am totally exhausted, stuck staying up to get enough notes written for me to be able to write my reports that are due tomorrow while I am at work. Got to get up early, about 7am or so (1:30am right now as I write this) and drive over an hour for an appointment, blech. It is also trash day and they pick it up before I ever climb out of bed so as I was picking up trash around my house I checked my mousetrap since I haven't seen any running around for a few days and when I opened it gingerly and glanced inside didn't see one, but thought I saw a string which meant that the tail had come off the last mouse I caught. So I opened it back up and sure enough there was a mousetail in there and it was still attached to the mouse which I wasn't expecting. So I screamed and dropped the trap. Luckily the mouse didn't fall out onto my floor so I carefully dumped it into a trash bag and proceeded to gather the rest of my debris. I grabbed and empty beer box and forgetting that I had tossed a ball of lint into it instead of walking the extra 3 feet to the bin last week once again screamed and dropped the box mistaking the lint for another mouse.

--- end of embarrassing story ---

(Afterthoughts)
Yes, I know, the girl who has no worries wandering off into demon infested woods at night and alone is scared of dead mice. Strangely enough the live ones don't spook me as long as I don't have to touch them, and I see them run around my floors way too often.

Fun at work

This week I have so far, screwed up my back (again,) nearly broken my fingers with a hammer (about a 5 lb rawhide hammer,) and cut my elbow on the door to my machine when I was climbing out of it checking a dimension on the part with 30-31 inch micrometers (but got to use one of my bitchin' hello kitty band-aids.) And I let #4 spray my cut with neosporin because he whines like a little girl when I spray it on him and let him have his 'revenge.' But much to his demise, it didn't burn me at all, tingled just a tiny bit, muhahaha.

(Afterthoughts)
We are taking bets on what today's injury will end up being, see the bookie on the way out.

Shinigami may be watching over your shoulder right now

As promised, here is the definition of shinigami copied straight from wiki:

Shinigami ("death god" or "God of Death") is the personification of death that evolved in Japan, having been imported to Japan from Europe during the Meiji period.The term shinigami may also be used more loosely to refer to any death deity. It seems to be a recent term, however, as it belongs to no specific Shinto deity and is rarely used in folklore. Today shinigami frequently appear in original Japanese works of fiction (anime and manga most often).

The article also lists several shows that they appear in, my favorite being Bleach (and Death Note which some may remember I partly based my blog title on, muhahaha.) They are not quite the same as our grim reaper personification but it would take me a lot of writing and examples to really drive home the subtle differences, probably just easier to say that shinigami generally have more responsibility and complications besides dealing with the dead (it's not all that bad lol.)

(Afterthoughts)
I just feel the missing music from the old school PSA's in this post.

Awesome distraction

I started watching a RPG cartoon that is not quite a parody but seems almost like it due to it's focus on humor (which might actually mean it is a parody after all.) I'm not in much of a writing mood tonight for some reason I can't figure out, hmmmm? So here is the link to Unforgotten Realms.

(Afterthoughts)
The writing bounces between childish and unbelievably brilliant, no wonder I am liking this show, lol.

My wasted day

Unsurprisingly I woke up early after a night of little sleep. So in order to distract myself I went to the grocery store and made myself a nice lunch for a change (even though I hate cooking for 1 person and can't seem to get the hang making that little food.) With a lot of time to kill I also made rice krispy treats coated in hershey chocolate bars to take to work with me. I figured that would be a good distraction to prevent anyone from possibly noticing the pain in my eyes, and even if by some odd chance they did, those might have a chance of tricking them into thinking I was fine. Because who the hell would make treats for their coworkers if they were in a bad mood (non-poisoned ones I obviously mean lol.)

(Afterthoughts)
Told y'all I would totally blow off and ignore my bad mood in a few days, it's already starting to happen, screw dealing with issues when you can eat chocolate coated and crunchy cereal marshmellow bar thingies instead. Hooray!

What I have decided is I hate this drama

My opinion so far... I hate caring as much as I do.

• I hate feeling like a burden by making the few friends I have be seen out with me and listen to my problems.
• I hate not being able to drown myself in anger anymore.
• I hate suffering in silence even though it is the best thing to do (apparently not too silent, sigh.)
• I hate waking up disappointed more mornings than not when I discover that I am still alive.
• I hate wanting to cry at least a few times a week and rarely able to let myself do it.
• I hate feeling the ironic amusement at my own anguish and misery and realizing that half of my genuine smiles and laughter comes from my demoness side.
• I hate feeling lost and alone.
• I hate every one of my selfish and petty complaints.
• I hate feeling hollow and empty inside.
• I hate feeling hideous, physically and mentally.
• I hate the low and self righteous opinions people have towards other girls like me.
• I hate the doubt and confusion that nags me regardless of knowing what is right.
• I hate the empathy I feel towards everyone and how I tend to lash out to push it away.
• I hate needing to drive those who get close away.
• I hate Starbucks, I really, really do.
• I hate worrying about how much longer my current job will last.
• I hate feeling like I've been rewarded when people don't cancel out on our plans.
• I hate coming home to an empty house everyday.
• I hate feeling unloved and unappreciated.
• I hate feeling depressed.
• I hate being single.
• I hate my lack of confidence and self esteem.
• I hate being so damn worthless.
• I hate seeing other people suffer.
• I hate being unable to sleep without my teddy bear.
• I hate being scared of the future as well as the past.
• I hate my empty existence.
• I hate my reflection in the mirror.
• I hate my insomnia.
• I hate feeling people are better off keeping their distance from me.
• I hate my wasted life.
• I hate being so weak.
• I hate that I can't even finish this list (guess we can scratch off not crying now.)

(Afterthoughts)

In between tears, I looked back over this list and realized I also hate feeling pathetic, self pity, rarely being able to reach out when I need it, and the knowledge that I'll blow all these feelings off in a few days and consider them inconsequential and pointless. Sometimes I hate getting what I deserve (thanks karma, blah.)

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14.... My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE ..
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'

(Afterthoughts)
I have heard every single one of those and I think everyone else has too, lol.

Children's science exam

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section'
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

And my personal favorite:
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this)!
A: Keep it in the cow.

(Afterthoughts)
Keep it in the cow!!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!! Although using flirtation to get dead sheep and canoeists out of water is pretty damn good too.

Tricky test

Instructions: Read the following, then click on the link below. There are two identical pictures that will appear on the screen.Almost 8,000 people were tested to see if they could identify the 3 differences in the two pictures, and only 19 were able to find all three. See how observant you are. If you can find all 3, you're one of the very few who are able to do this.
I could only Find 1 Difference See if you are better than me....

Link to the test

(Afterthoughts)
I did not enjoy this at all!!!! I am going to call my mom who sent it to me and totally bitch her out. You'll understand after you take the test yourself.

Halloween sadness

I am sitting home alone after working all night and missing Halloween altogether. Watching The Nightmare Before Christmas special edition that I have been holding off on watching but couldn't resist putting it in tonight. I love that movie, have seen it 100's of times and it always pulls at my heartstrings every single time. I just identify with the darkness/light combinations in the characters way too much. Five minutes into the movie and I'm crying at the 2nd song already which really is a very sad one and very similar to my own life.



(Afterthoughts)
There are not many things that hurt me this bad thru the reflection back of my own existence. I guess we all have our own little soft spots is all I care to say about it and don't have the desire at all to describe all the links to myself that I see in it.

My date of death is age 70

My teacher listed a website that will predict your life expectancy and after taking the test it calculated that my current lifestyle will end when I am 70 years old at which time I will move into a nice casket or urn depending on what is done with my cold, lifeless body (or perhaps end up in some medical lab if I get sold instead, those poor scientists lol.) The interesting thing is that after the test it tells you what your potential age that you could live to can be if you change some of your bad habits. Mine is 103 if I alter a few simple things. If you are brave you can take the test here, but if you are too scared, that's ok too. I'll just tell you the same thing I tell #4 all the time, "I could show up wearing a dress and everyone would still think I'm more of a man than you are!" Now go get on your little girl bike and pedal back home crying if you won't take the test.

(Afterthoughts)
Honestly 70 was a higher number than I thought I would get and most of the options for extending my life are stuff I have recently started implementing but didn't list them in my test answers. And making fun of those who don't want to take the test is definitely not nice but I have never claimed to be a nice girl, constantly rant about stuff, and continually remind y'all that I am half demoness, so why is anybody surprised by my comments? MUHAHAHA!!!

Freezer burnt

2 solid days of rage burning away my insides as I walked around with a 'smile' plastered to my face and chatted and joked around with everyone. No one realized just how badly my insides were being charred away which is exactly how things are supposed to be, my place is to suffer in silence (and bitch about it here lol.) Although the group of guys I hang out with on breaks did notice that I was kind of wound up more than usual, I always rant about silly nonsense stuff anyway and the intensity is generally enjoyed when I get worked up about something and keep everyone laughing. But anyway, the fires pretty much simmered down to embers about the time I hit last break at work with 2 more hours left before I could go home. By the time I walked into my house I had lost most of the feeling in my soul. So I sat on my couch outside on my front porch reflecting about everything and anything for a while. That turned out to eventually turn out to become an hour and a half in the cold air and only after I was shivering so badly that I was way past the point where I should have been able to stand it did I return inside the house. Other than quite possibly giving myself a cold (I'll know before the weekend is over) I neither resolved nor even made any progress towards resolving anything other than deciding to reflect in a warmer environment from now on (which isn't actually a bad lesson in and of itself although I should have already known that lol.) My brain feels like it has been dipped and coated in wax (why couldn't it at least have been chocolate?) and some type of 6th sense has been cut off leaving me feeling half blind and half deaf to the world and myself. All the colors and sounds are still there but seem washed out and faded. I know logically that I should care and be bothered by this but I can't really muster up very much rebellion against it. It feels calm and serene and drifting thru everything feeling only ghosts of emotions is frighteningly comforting. I seriously wonder if my internal debates should not be how to get out of this state but rather how do I maintain it.

(Afterthoughts)
I'll be sure to wave as I drift on by. And as I read over all I had written I am always amazed at how well I misdirect without even having to try by slipping silly jokes etc. into everything, that is sooo awesome-o!

Why I really am angry

Want to know the reason behind my anger? Here it is. I discovered that the creepy guy out in the parking lot actually did not have any candy in the back of his van.

(Afterthoughts)
:(

About time for another rant

I haven't had a good rant post in quite a while and we happened to run across this topic briefly on break at work last night. It had something to do with talking about how some sports dude was doing really good and spouted out that he was hotter than a bagel fresh from the toaster over. (I have no idea who the hell he was, I just babble nonsense stuff like that to keep the conversations going lol.) But then I was like, ya know, I actually hate freaking bagels, those things suck. And the 4 guys I was chatting with all chimed in that none of them really cared for them either. So of course, I had to say something more.

"You know why bagels suck? It's because they make them by mixing bubble gum with ground up cardboard and then baking it into a donut shape! Read the ingredients, it's right on the side of the bag."

That had all them all shaking their heads and laughing. The general consenus was that I should be writing a book about all my strange theories and ideas because I come up with bizarre new ones on a daily basis.

(Afterthoughts)
Ok, not much of a rant, but who cares. The important thing is that I really don't like bagels and my description of them is totally accurate on how I think the experience of trying to eat one really is. Yuk!

My new fossil discovery

Digging around in frozen depths I discovered these beauties hidden beyond the sight of casual by-passers. They are resting in a pan full of sludge in that pic but are simply amazing when viewed up close on a display plate. So what are they exactly? Ancient fossils from an era long past? Or something more recent from maybe the past couple of centuries? The truth is that they are t-bone steaks from one of my family's pet cows, baked in a potato cheese teriyaki garlic sauce. Ha ha. Looks like a train wreck but are damn tasty. I was hoping a friend of mine would be able to visit and stay for a couple of days but unfortunate circumstances prevented that from happening. So I was kind of sad and depressed about that so I decided to cook myself a nice meal to try to pick my spirits up a bit. Of course that meant that this meal did not come out of my oven until 3am and I finally managed to roll into bed at 5am this morning. Oh well, sleep sucks anyway, I never have truly enjoyed it (seriously, I hate sleeping, all joking aside.)

They show THAT to kids?

I found this in a childrens book and noticed something that has been apparently overlooked by all you mere mortals. Offically I find this highly amusing (unofficially, I am rather horrified.) If you look closely at the mouse, just what rude hand gesture is that little bastard doing to the rabbit? Most likely not what the artist intended but sometimes things don't work out like we planned.




(Afterthoughts)
This is one of the quicker blogs I have lined up from the weekend, there is still a much, much longer one coming soon to a computer screen near you.

Homemade laundry soap is what's for dinner

I got this link from a friend of mine and found it rather interesting. It is directions on how to make your own laundry soap for the cost of about $0.03/ load compared to an average of $0.30/ load if you use the store bought stuff. That doesn't really sound like much until you add it all up. It sounds like a lot of fun to make also, especially if you have kids (or act like a kid like me lol.) Check it out here, I can't wait to make some myself, muhahaha. Slimy, hooray!

(Afterthoughts)
Soap? SOAP!?! What the hell am I babbling about, argh, forget it, I wash my hands of this affair (har har.) I must have lost it if I'm now getting excited about laundry soap, 'sigh.'

Joke time

Q: What did the pear say to the cauliflower?

A: You smell like cabbage!

(Afterthoughts)
I got this joke in the mail from my 7 year old nephew. It is just adorable. I'll be telling it to everyone I talk to this week. I couldn't stop laughing when I read it.

Horrible confession time

Just so everyone knows that I do have a human side (which oftentimes is actually worse than my half demoness nature) here are a few confessions which I am not proud of.

1) I have not bothered to shave my legs in about a week (ewww, yuk.)

2) I have only worn makeup once in the past 2 weeks if you don't count the simple basics of mascara and lipstick (I did make myself presentable when I went out to the bar last week was the few hours I did that.)

3) I have been procrastinating doing my schoolwork until I am close to deadline day (but have been doing ok even so.)

4) I still have not quit smoking yet although I was suppose to 6 weeks ago (gonna try Monday, hopefully I have the willpower because although I keep smoking, I haven't been enjoying it for the most part, addiction is funny that way.)

5) Although I have a perfectly good computer one room away, I wrote this on my cell phone while sitting on my front porch smoking (not that bad other than the smoking part again, but it is bad enough to remention.)

(Afterthoughts)
Although those really could honestly be a lot worse (and were only a few bad habits) that doesn't make them any better for that fact.

Singing bowl

This is a singing bowl that I got last weekend when I was up north at my mom's house for the weekend. I love these bowls and have a smaller one that I got a couple of years ago. When you trace the rim with the dowel, it creates a lovely sounding harmonic pitch that is just terrific.

Pizza Mia confusionism

I have finally figured out the reason for pizza's always seemingly arriving at your door always seemingly to be sliced in such a way that a couple of the slices are tiny compared to the rest. It is so that when I wake up in the middle of the night hungry, it is the perfect quick snack size. Just enough to quell my hunger and make my taste buds happy. Um, this sounds like a PSA, lol.

(Afterthoughts)
Regardless of size, it always beats coatloaf.

Hello grocery store

I am lazy, I admit it. I need to go grocery shopping terribly bad. I have pretty much totally ran out of food in my house. I am tired of eating coatloaf, I'm a growing girl and need protein that doesn't come from coats. I will probably get to it next weekend though. I guess I had best get used to coatloaf until then.

(Afterthoughts)
I just noticed that I started every sentence with "I" in this post.

Today's nemesis, ATM's

I have lived in this town for a year and a half and the bank I use doesn't have any branches closer than 60 miles away. So everytime I go to draw out cash I get charged a transaction fee which sucks but I live with it (as if I had any other choice, like opening a local account, that's just crazy talk.) So how exactly do I ply my revenge, cause y'all know I have to do something about that regardless of how petty and trivial it is. I always have it print me out a receipt just to cost the bank which owns the ATM a few microfractions of a penny in ink and paper costs. The receipts never have my actually account balance on them so doing that is pure vindictive. So HA, take that, in a few more years I may have wasted an entire dollar of the banks money.

(Afterthoughts)
Damn it, that rant sounded a lot better in my head, I swear that it really did.

School teacher gives a high five

I checked the board where my teacher leaves general messages to us, so far I've gotten a perfect score on all the assignments and tests. And I am aparently also a shining example. This is the message she left for everyone in class to read:

Grades for week 2 are posted. Many of you are doing well in the discussion threads, but some of you are lacking. Make sure you are answering the question fully, and are using supporting facts from the reading. This is a learning experience and you all are doing a great job sharing and learning from one another within you response posts. I usually do not do this but we are all in this together, and I want is for you to learn everything you can before you move on to your next class. Ok... with that said..... I would like the people that may not have received full points on week 2's post to look at the following learners posts- for an example of how to answer the discussion questions, how the leaner discusses the facts or his/her experience within the topic, etc:

(she listed a few people and I was one of them)

Their posts are just examples of how you can move forward in this class and within your classes to come."

(Afterthoughts)
I was just shocked, I was hoping that I was doing ok but honestly haven't felt like I've done nearly as good of a job as I could. I wrote every assignment so far pretty much off the top of my head, the most writing prep I have done for them (besides the textbook reading) is jot down a couple of brief notes (usually just 2 or 3 words) to help keep me guided in my writing. That is sooo freaking scary and awesome at the same time. Everyone, let's hear a "HELL YEAH!" lol.

SHOES

This is for all my shoe obcessed friends.

I'm a bad bad girl

Last night after work I was suppose to come home and write a couple of posts for school. However, one of my friends was in town (she rode over to work with #4's bf to pick him up.) So we went out to the bar and I skipped my school obligations to go drinking instead lol. It wasn't a big deal because the deadline for the assignments is not until midnight tonight and I got them done today already. I wasn't sure if I would since I had to run to a nearby town when I woke up to pickup 20 pounds of the turkey sausage links I seem to keep on buying. Those 2 boxes were for my landlady's household, I was just playing the part of 'delivery girl' for them.

(Afterthoughts)
Um, not too much for this post, whatcha expect, I've been writing for school today already and even I can only ramble for so long lol. Oh, and no hangover for me today either, HA! And I got quite a bit accomplished for only having 4-5 hours of alcohol induced sleep. ;)

Free death robes for everyones

I’m good at making people angry, that comes with the territory of being half-demoness. And I have no doubt that what I’m about to say will have quite a few people glaring at their computer screens as they read this post. I am sorry to do that to y’all but sometimes things need said and I have NEVER claimed to be a good person. I try to be but when you are cursed with seeing way too many sides and perspectives to everything regardless of it’s importance I get kind of frustrated. However, due to the ‘Fairness in Hell Act of 2323’ I also wrote a sort of type of argument for both sides, kind of.

(The crunchy Demoness side that is ‘good’ for you says)
Death is not always a tragedy, there are rare occasions when it is more of a blessing but that isn’t today’s lesson. There are bodies in the river 1 mile from my house right now. They periodically run across one, then always seem to find a few more when they start combing thru the water looking for clues. That is a horrible situation, always has been and always will be, no argument about that. There is always someone (usually several someone’s) who cry out about what a horrible shame that this person who they know nothing about other than what they have read in the paper. Good for them, I don’t have a problem with that. My anger comes from how they only care about that on rare occasions because it caught their interest or because there was some minor fact about the person that they shared, such as them both moving to this town from a different state, or they drove the same type of car, or even had the same color of hair or were the same age. I find that frighteningly trivial. The reason they should care is exceedingly simple. THEY ARE BOTH HUMANS!!! There is no way anyone could show the concern that is deserved to all of the tragic deaths that occur daily, but picking out one every now and then while never showing more than a passing brief flash of ‘sucks to be them’ to most of the deaths they hear about is just not right.

(The sweet frosted girl side says)
Death always is horrible and technically there may be a rare case when it is better, those situations have to be almost nonexistent. The only people death ever benefits are greedy and heartless life insurance beneficiaries. Most people do feel bad about all the senseless kills and suicides but no one with any sanity left in their head could allow themselves to feel all that without ending up a quivering mess huddled up in a dark corner of their house with a broken mind, heart, and soul. So we do sort of numb ourselves to everything so that we can keep on going and try to make things better. And every now and then a specific death does stand out to us even though it is a stranger. There are any number of reasons that happens but when it does a lot of the sadness we have slowly been building up over all the ones we try to mostly overlook just comes pouring out. So, yes, it may seem senseless that ’out of the blue’ we try to ’champion’ some total stranger that we may not have even gotten along with or even actually liked had we known them when they were still alive, but that is not the point. All deaths are bad, and when we see one that our minds see as having some sort of emotional link to us, it tends to hit a lot closer to our hearts.

(Afterthoughts)
I’ve been reading too much about death recently and although the last few ‘dedications’ have not been self serving or egocentric, it just happened to be the feather that shattered the elephants kneecaps allowing gravity to slam it to the ground (that old saying is something like that.)

Pi video

This is from the band "Hard n Phirm" about the number pi. Just go with it, it's rather humerous.

When did I have a clock installed in my soul?

Today marks the 3rd night in a row that I've had the end of my dreams ending with a similar theme. Which has also caused me to lie in bed for about an hour each morning quietly crying to myself also. They have not been bad dreams by any means, but waking up from them to find an empty house has about broken my heart every morning. Day 1) I was just lying in bed next to my husband with our little baby sleeping between us snuggled up next to me while I whispered/ sang little nonsensical gibberish. That was a hard one to wake up from. Day 2) Was playing dolls with my little girl on the floor when she jumped up and gave me a huge hug and said "I love Mommy." That was an even harder when I woke up. Day 3) I was just picking stuff up around the house while continuing to keep checking on the baby asleep in the crib. Not as hard as the first 2, but by this point it isn't taking anything major to set me off.

I think my freaking biological clock, which I shouldn't even have, has started ticking. Argh, I'm only 34, that shouldn't be happening yet! That's not supposed to happen until a woman hits her mid-thirties, right? Um, wait a minute, damn, never mind, I guess I am at that age. And to be honest, I've never thought the idea of being pregnant myself as being anything but scary as hell, not that I ever could be. But I realized today that my attitude about that has changed and it seems like the bestest thing that anyone could ever experience. (I want a baby sooooo bad right now.)

I'm gonna say that my hormone biochem is at some weird combo/ level right now. And as if we needed any more proof, ya just have to look at the picture I posted in my last blog. What kind of clear and level headed girl would make a sandwich like that, let alone eat it?(Ok, I know, I asked for it by implying I was the least bit normal in anything lol.)

(Afterthoughts)
Will someone please tell me where the hell the snooze button is on my biological clock!

I put what in my mouth?

This is the sandwich I made when I got home from work tonight. From bottom to top: Wheat toast, cheese, ham, chicken breast, egg, turkey sausage, wheat toast.



(Afterthoughts)
I wasn't sure how it would turn out but, damn, it was tasty. :)

The price I pay

This is probably gonna be a sad post. I'm going to explain a few (but not all) of the prices I have had to pay, and also continue to pay every single moment of my life, and have since I was about 5 years old. My soul is basically barely held together by scars and spit, my connection to other humans is extremely limited at best, I always feel alone even when surrounded by good friends or family, my ability to feel faith was lost with the awakening of my demoness nature, and worse is my high level of empathy which I spent years training to tune it out. 2 years of that along with my schizophrenia drove me to suicide at age 7. It didn't work but did provide me with the drive to continue on without much fear of death. Zen alchemy was my successful solution (and will get a blog all its own someday along with the sacrifices my salvation also came with.) It has not been a secret that I'm half-demoness, and that I have sacrificed way more than anyone should ever have to. But few people actually understand the implications of that and make assumptions mainly based on religious propaganda. I know and understand that but rarely bother to correct or explain. So this is a rare opportunity to learn for y'all I suppose.

Residing within all humans is an rarely fully tapped dual nature. The effects from both are felt throughout ones entire life. Those weak of mind fall prey to the whims of both and often go insane either as religious fanatics or serial killers (or a lesser version of that such as a tax collector or various government positions from postman to senator.) Those stronger of mind learn to draw mostly on their preferred aspect and become ministers, small business owners who help the community, and even everyday seeming folk who live within the masses brightening their lives is small yet substantial ways. The other side tends to be the psycho managers, the rule breaking employee who manages to get away with everything he does, school board committee members, and the people writing newer and complex laws that confuse everyone and don't really solve anything, but manage to turn groups of people who had been doing nothing wrong into criminals. Those who are highest in touch with the forces within themselves can become either half-angel or half-demon. Since my schizo was rare and allowed me to see things that are really there when I can focus it, I learned all of that at age 5 and how it all works also. Honestly that is way too much for a child to handle. Very few people can ever piece together how it works and the laws they are governed by. So I studied this and learned and observed how they played out in other humans. Before I had divined those natures, I was unknowingly on the road to becoming a half-angel if my strength would hold out. However due to what I had seen in my future I knew I could not follow that path to obtain the forbidden knowledge I would need to have a surviving chance, I awoke my demoness side instead of just drawing on it. There is one big different between demons and angels, demons see humans baseline as insanity, angels see them as faith to make things better for themselves. You may say that I'm not an evil demoness and I'm not. I just see things thru the shadows and lack the faith that things will improve on their own. That takes hard work and effort to change things, not faith.

But all the things I have sacrificed, I still feel an empathic loss of them all every momment of every day. Feeling the connections to all the good things in life but lacking the simple ability to grasp them. That is the true price I payed for my sanity. Had I not done that, I would have not become the strong girl I am today who is able to enjoy life while helping guide others out of the shadows where I dwell.

(Afterthoughts)
Um, wow?

Um, ok then

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Unoffically offical

School started today for me and since I took a bit of a head start last night after work and did some of my required assignments (just a little bit) and posted some stuff in my class, I'm not an actual college girl, hooray! I don't technically become a 'real' student until I have a few more classes completed and am on a sort of probation (everyone starting is) until I successfully pass a few classes. But I am still pretty psyched lol. And for some reason, I keep having the idea run thru my head that I need, I mean really, really need (and it's starting to annoy me bouncing around inside my brain nonstop) to go buy me a plaid skirt. Argh, stupid cliche ideas, even if it does sound cute, I want it out of my skully, lol. But anyway, I still can't believe I'm a college chick now!

(Afterthoughts)
I hate when a silly idea turns obsessive and tries to sneak in and justify itself thru manipulative ways, although, I really do need to buy some skirts so maybe I should do that. ;)

Auntie Lizzie's cooking tips

Pizza is great. I think it is simply just terrific, and I love it. But when you reheat it in the microwave after it's been in the refrigerator for a couple of days, it tends to turn into tough, chewy cardboard. The best way I have found to solve that problem is to coat the pizza in garlic butter before heating it. It is also totally tasty. It is a messy treat (use a fork, not your fingers) but, damn, it is sooo freaking yummy. Hope that helps. ;)

(Afterthoughts)
You are totally right that I seriously do that everytime I have leftover pizza. It may not be the girliest meal to eat, but guys love it when they are over and that is always a bonus lol.

Mood picker upper

My college adviser called me today to let me know that everyone is thrilled about how great of a job I did getting all my initial paperwork completed and taken care of right off the bat. He has people that drag it out as long as they can and are a few courses into school without having it all finished yet. That really made me feel good and I kind of needed something to boost my mood. It was really nice to feel appreciated for the effort I made to get everything lined up and ready. I rarely say this but it is nice when someone puts a smile on my face (that's just between us though, I don't want that secret getting out, I do have a reputation to keep.)

(Afterthoughts)
Damn, that really did make me happy, I blame the freakin' hormones, 'sigh.'

Grrrr, today's wisdom

"Despite the high cost of living, it still continues to be very popular."

"Too many people with solutions IS THE PROBLEM."

log-ic (loj'ik), n. 1. the art of being wrong with confidence.

"The gene pool could use some chlorine."

"Black holes suck"

"Obey gravity, it's the law"

"The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

(Afterthoughts)
Um, I managed to start bitchy but always seem to lose steam and turn more silly and decided to stop while I was ahead, 'sigh.'

Messed up proof

More of my saga on how messed up my factory is, and validation on why I'm going back to school. The guy on 3rd shift comes in 4 hours early almost every night, even though we barely have enough work to keep the machines running right now. So instead of telling the other guy that he does not need to be working 12 hours, I get bumped off my machine and told I need to find something else to work on so he can run my machine for overtime and since there was nothing else happening with any of the other machines I can run, I got to go home 2 hours early tonight (I managed to wander around chatting with people for about an hour while trying to hunt down my supervisor lol.) That's right, I said they are paying someone time and a half in order to send someone on straight time home early. Although I usually have something else I can jump over to work on, I shouldn't have to move. If he wants to come in early, he needs to be the one looking for something other than stealing my machine or else turn his ass around and go back home! But of course, 'special rules' apply to him and nothing other than him quitting (unlikely) there is nothing that can be done about it. Even though I don't have to move everyday, the fact that I ever have to irritates me. So there is some of my motivation to work hard at my classes.

(Afterthought)
I must be feeling the effects from the insomnia because I really toned down this rant because it makes me about as sad as it does angry that I have to deal with such stupid happenstances.

Medicated induced silliness

I spent most of the day yesterday cleaning my house, actually most of it was laundry and organizing stuff, haven't quite made it ti the cleaning stage yet lol. But with my back hurting and knowing I needed to get up early the next 2 days. I decided that taking one of my sleep pills would probably be a good idea at around midnight. They don't knock me out but when I do lay down I fall asleep rather quickly. However I had a couple quick things I wanted to do before I went to bed so I stayed up for a little while. Now staying awake on this med tends to make me a little bit goofy (ok, ok, goofier lol.) So in the process of putting away some makeup I had sitting out I decided to create a little monument on the top of my shelves in my bathroom. It really did seem like a fun idea at the time lol. And when I woke up this morning and saw that, I cracked up laughing and had to take a picture of it before I put it all away.



(Afterthoughts)
I doubt I ever know why I do stuff like that, I think mostly so I can make myself laugh when I think about it later on. Either that or my brain fever is just still running strong lol. (I wish I could blame the meds, but unfortunately there is too much previous evidence proving otherwise lol.)

The ultimate table

(click to enlarge, just being considerate to those who were unaware of that, and yes, I know most of ya were already familiar with how that works, stop glaring at me or I might just cry, I mean it, lol.)



(Afterthoughts)
I cut that out from "The Order of the Stick." Now that is nothing like how I have ever eaten but always did fantasize about a little bit. (Honestly, I totally swear that is true lol.)

Tick tock goes the mouse ...

Today's report is that there is nothing to report haha. I do have one question for y'all though. Just what could you have gotten started on if ya hadn't wasted time reading this, MUHAHAHA.

(Afterthoughts)
Yeah, that was mean lol, but I just want to know why I'm even writing an afterthoughts?

Tech makes life soooo easier

Sometimes, I hate computers, I mean really, really hate them. My laptop has needed reformatted for quite a while now but I've been putting off fixing it since I've been too tired and just been too stressed with everything trying to get my liver in shape to dedicate the time to it. So I finally decided that the time had come since things are going better for me to get that project over with. 3 hours later and the reformat is done and I go to install AVG it totally locks up on me while it is updating. Ack!!! Can't get it to respond at all. And I can't do a hard shut down to try to reset it because my power button broke a couple months ago (I've been turning it on thru the dvd player/ media touch sensitive button.) So I tried unplugging it, wait, it's a laptop, it has a battery, damn. That's OK, the battery will drain in a couple of hours and shut down. No, actually it won't since I hadn't reset the power options to keep it from going into power save mode. Damn, if I keep waking it up I might get it drained in about a day. Just when I'm starting to cry from pure frustration, it clicks in my mind that battery power also means that the battery can be removed to kill it for a bad hard reset. However since it is really late, and I worked today (I still consider it saturday since I haven't been to bed yet and the sun has not yet peeked over the horizon) I'm just gonna kill the juice to it and deal with it sunday, and most likely do another reformat. Blah. This isn't the first time I've had this happen but it usually makes me angry instead of wanting to cry, hooray for hormone induced emotions, which is actually the point of this post. And yes, I wrote this from my phone and while I could have used the time it has taken to blog this to have actually done some work on my laptop, I just needed to talk instead to make myself feel better (yeah, yeah, typical girl thing, I know, but what else did ya expect lol.)

Product placement for your production pleasure

In a continuation of my constant bad product ideas, here is the latest: heat shrink condoms (made from heat shrink plastic of course.) And yes, they would be non-lubricated, MUHAHAHA.

(Afterthoughts)
Even I wouldn't want to comment on this lol. But for those who are unfamiliar with heat shrink plastic, it is usually used for tubing and permanently contracts when heat is applied to it, so yeah, it would suck for the guy haha.

STATION IDENTIFICATION

"WE INTERRUPT YOUR CURRENT BROADCAST TO BRING YOU THIS EMERGENCY TEST ... THIS IS ONLY A TEST"

Incoming message from our alien overlords ... "Pitiful humans of Earth, we have gone to the trouble of manipulating the space-time continuum to turn the week into 8, 30 hours days to make your slave labor more cost effective and efficient. Please keep in mind that the beatings will continue until moral improves. Have a pleasant day."

"WE NOW CONTINUE OUR NORMAL BLOGGING, REMEMBER, THIS WAS ONLY A TEST."

Girl's movie night

Went over to a girls house after work for one of our girl's movie night. I took "Hoodwinked" since she had not seen it yet and it had been awhile since I had. Awesome clever and cute flick about the little red riding hood story told from the 4 perspectives of Red (dreams of excitement), Wolf (investigative reporter working on Red), Woodcutter (an unskilled actor), and Granny (into extreme sports). Very cute movie and extremely well thought out and presented.

(Afterthoughts)
If ya missed it when it came out, seriously go rent it, it is on my top 20 movie list somewhere lol. Oh, and I wore what was probably the cutest top with a pair of jeans that I picked up over the weekend. And our 2 ages average out to 30 but got asked at the drive-thru at McDonalds "are you kids just get back from the game?" What! We surely look old enough not to be at a high school game other than I could pass for a tall cheerleader (blech, hurts my dark soul to say that lol.)

Cleaning is a job for who?

Last night at work I had to mop the floor around #4's machine (right next to mine.) Did I do that just to nice? I thought so up until the point where he said, ''I'm not mopping, that's womans work.'' Yes, that is what he actually told me lol.

(Afterthoughts)
He is lucky he is such a good friend, lol.

Wait, I said what?

Just a quick teaser for y'all. One of the reasons #4 seriously thinks I am insane due to my antics at work is this argument we had last night. He apparently assumes everyone he talks to is NOT a Nazi and complained how they are all inherently evil. So I debated on their behalf (after all I could be a secret one, it wouldn't be the first secret I've ever had, lol.) I even argued that the ham sandwich he was eating could have come from a pig loving raised and cared for by Nazi farmers (makes sense cause its a cloven hoofed animal which certain people refuse to touch.) There was a lot more to that conversation but ya kind of get the idea.

(Afterthoughts)
Yep, I really went there, so much for politically correctness or something. And no, I'm defintely not a Nazi lol.

Weekend is over, time to rest ;)

I had a great weekend with the girls and picked up a few new outfits (shopping, hooray lol.) I also spent half the weekend at my mom's for my sister's birthday and she loved the Mickey Mouse barrettes and the $100 Kohl's gift card. She needs some new clothes for work (art teacher for the little school kids) and she was sooo happy and I had to go pick out clothes with her Sunday. I also sold my go-kart finally and strained my back again (hurt it Thursday also) loading it into the guy's truck. Told my mom I started the meds that week and she asked kind if nasty what they were for (been over it before, I can't sleep) so I told her they were so I could see in color, no more color blindness. She dropped the conversation after that and let things be lol. I also picked up season 11 of South Park and watched some of that at my friends house (her and the girl she's dating loved the lesbian bar episode lol.) All in all had a wonderful time and wish I could have stayed longer but I haven't figured out how to draw a paycheck without showing up for work yet, but I'm working on it lol.

(Afterthoughts)
My back aches and I'm exhausted, but I feel great and that is what matters the most :)

3 day weekend

Heading up north tomorrow close to my moms house (about 10 minutes away) to have an all girl weekend, sort of. Friday is us girls clothes shopping, mostly for my pathetic wardrobe. Saturday is my sister's birthday so it's family time for that then back to quality girl time with my friends again sat night. The family won't be happy that I'm doing this but, sorry, this is for me and I need it. They had me to themselves 2 weeks ago for an entire weekend but Liz needs some time with friends also and I am taking it.

(Afterthoughts)
I need a bubble bath for my brain.

When did you get home young lady?

Ok, I got back to my house at, um, (shush, 6 am) hee hee. I went over to my friends place after the bar and since little mister lightweight #4 pretty much crashed rather quickly, I sat around and chatted with his bf. That was really nice to have the chance to get to spend some time talking to him for a while with just the two of us. I love the both of them dearly but it was nice having #4 out of the picture at the end of the night since I know him fairly well but haven't had much of an opportunity to get to know his bf one on one (sorry #4 but you get 8 hours with me everyday lol.) That actually made going out tonight worth it and I'm really glad I did.

(Afterthoughts)
Those late nights often are the best ones there are.

Weekend was sooo fun (sarcasm if ya missed it)

Yea, I spent half my weekend in bed praying I would blackout. I'm in just enough pain to keep from sleeping more than a half hour tops. It pretty much sucks, been thru it before and will have it again so whining time is over lol.

Time for product placement, hee hee. Tried out Sally Hansen Color Quick Fast Dry Nail Color Pen (in Dusk, which is a nonsensible description for pink lol.) I'm rather pleased with it, none of that messy bottle stuff, it is an all-in-one pen that ya click the top to dispense the polish into the tip, kind of like a paint marker. I also got a bottle of Milani Nail Lacquer in Diamond Dazzle, which is basically clear coat with glitter, and looks uber cute over other polish making it all sparkly. Oooohh, sparkles .... what, oh, sorry, got distracted by the sparkly goodness lol.

I didn't get much time spent on my new PS3 game, Monster Madness Grave Danger. It is a lot of fun (not very girly but I still like it.) The video is the xbox version of the game since it has been out alot longer and the PS3 version just came out last week.



(Afterthoughts)
Pretty + blah = pretty blah, bwahahaha.

Seeking: one replacement spine

After all the probably good news yesterday, I spent an exhausted night at work and wasn't really paying attention (or really caring) to what I was doing. Usually no problem, I run fairly well on automatic. However I pushed my back too hard lifting stuff I shouldn't and about an hour before my shift was over, the pain kicked in. It was bad enough that I could barely move without feeling like I was gonna pass out (and wishing that I would). It's from an old back injury 4 or 5 years ago and when I strain my back it feels like my ribs and stomach are full of knives (not the nice sharp ones either, more like the dull rusty ones lol.) So I left and came home an hour early and cried on my bed until I finally blacked out, hooray. Gonna try going into work today and hopefully not put too much stress on my back tonight. It still hurts but is definitely feeling better since the pain has moved into my back instead of pulling in my chest.

(Afterthoughts)
Law of averages says something bad happens for everything good.

I want an angry shirt for everyday of the week (just kidding)

I'm gonna get around to posting some pictures of those shirts, I promise it will be soon. Been doing too much girl talk on the phone after work (ok, so there is no such thing as too much lol.) I have just been rather busy and will get to it as soon as I can lol. I could have done that today but a video game I have been wanting that was supposed to be out yesterday which Gamestop told me was actually going on the shelf today, was not in with today's deliveries much to my disappointment. Good thing I have learned to call before I make the drive to the mall anymore lol. So I spent the day calling all the game shops in town just to find out I should have spent my time doing something else (actually anything else I guess lol.) Oh well, that's how it goes in the eternal cat and mouse game of video game shopping lol.

(Afterthoughts)
I need my game fix!

Too damn cute, apparently

Ya can't really tell in the picture on my last post but that shirt is a really pretty teal-ish color. But I am wearing it today and walked down to the gas station. The woman working behind the counter said my shirt was sooo cute and asked me a bunch of questions about it. Then when I was leaving she told me that I looked really adorable wearing it. LOL. It hadn't actually crossed my mind but I have to admit that even some of my darkness has taken a girly flavor to it. I'll be damned but that shirt really did turn out rather cute, totally by accident, I swear lol.

(Afterthoughts)
I have no idea how a severed bunny head could turn out cute, I really don't, but somehow it did and I like it even better for it ;)

New shirt image

In case you can't quite read it, it says "BEING ANGRY MAKES ME HAPPY."



(Afterthoughts)
Yes I really did draw that design, I should be selling those lol.

Far, far away (for a day or two)

I'm back after a relaxing weekend at my mom's house (3 1/2 hours away) or at least as relaxing as it can be with 3 little boys running around like tiny crazy people lol. It was nice to get away and be there with them and my mom and my younger sister and my brother-in-law who made an appearance a couple hours before I took off. The oldest boy ended up running around wearing my pajamas over his clothes for about an hour yesterday :) and my mom sewed me 4 new "Happy Bunny" shirts and 1 shirt that I designed at work last week on her embroidery machine. I have 2 other bunny shirts that she sent me in the mail so I now have an entire weeks worth of t-shirts with bunnies on them. (Ironically the one I drew was also bunny themed, but true to form now quite as cute as the others, muhahaha.) I'm gonna try to get some pics up of them, probably just the shirts themselves since that will be easier (and quicker) and since I'm lazy, yeah, I'm probably going that route lol.

The youngest boy (1 1/2) has become an even greater terror every time I see him and also manages to get cuter along with it. The older 2 have leveled out in that respect (for now lol) but still wear me out. They woke me up Saturday morning after I had managed to get a few hours of sleep after I got to mom's at 3 am but I then managed to actually get 8 straight hours of sleep that night plus a few more hours after that and felt halfway rested for once this morning (hooray for Ambien lol.) It was a rather uneventful weekend and allowed me to enjoy hanging out with my family. It was a distraction I rather needed and kept me from pacing around my house trying to burn off frustration (and avoid cleaning lol.)

(Afterthoughts)
If I can manage to get as good of sleep all week like I did last night I just may be in danger of going from exhaustion to merely tired lol.

Not quite as tasty as the turkey sausage links

Blech, woke up again with the challenge of picking hair out of my mouth. Since I'm not like Ben Franklin's clone right before he became a headless horseman, I don't really have any desire to eat hair. That has to be one of the top trivial annoyances of long hair lol. A few others are wind, getting poked in the eyes, and I used to burn the tips quite often a few years back when it was a lot longer with my ciggys.

Had a boring weekend, bought a bunch of dvd's and a package of tools for at my house. I am going to dedicate a short blog to those tools soon (more precisely a rant, yes that's what I said, rant) because I use tools everyday at work (cnc machinist for those who didn't know how I earn a living.)

(Afterthoughts)
The whole Ben eating hair joke went over most everyone's heads but since I know at least one girl who will have gotten that joke I didn't quote where it is from. ;)

Do what with my butt?

Got me a new chair today, yeah it's a cheap one but easy to move around or store away. And it is actually rather comfortable since there is no hard support under where you sit so it is nice.



(Afterthoughts)
Yes, I am soooo bored that I posted a picture of a $20 chair. 'sigh'

Sorry but the music is only in your head

(la la la)
30 pounds of turkey sausage links in the freezer,
(la la la)
30 pounds of turkey sausage links,
(la la la)
Take one down,
(la la la)
Into your throat,
(la la la)
Shove it down,
(la la la)
Slightly less than 30 pounds of turkey sausage links in the freezer.
(la la la)

(Afterthoughts)
That song sure sucked but I actually did buy that, and for only $30. I would have got more than that since $10 a box is awesome but at least I got the last 3 lol.

Sarcastic quote of the day

"Yeah, I'm a girl, thanks for the newsflash!"

(Afterthoughts)
Ok, I'm a bitch, thanks for the newsflash lol.

Noooooo!, I've been replaced with an alien clone

Last night after work I ended up at a place that should shock a lot of you. If I ever see mention of the place on anyone's posts I always rant about it lol. So yes, that's right, I went to the evil Nazi coffee overlord's domain, Starbucks. Now before anyone get's too excited thinking I have changed my views on the place, I have not, and they are cemented even more firmly into my psyche now. Now for the reason y'all are dying to know, why did I go there considering how much I dislike the place, their attitude, and mostly their overpriced coffee swill. One reason only, to hang out with one of my friends. She loves the place, probably due to their mind control methods which I have yet to figure out (in the coffee? music? subliminal advertising?) I'll even admit that I had a good time (not because of the coffee I gagged down) but because it was just nice to hang out with my friend and just sit there and chat. That was really nice and something I don't get anywhere near enough of lol. So don't anyone think I'm getting soft about the coffee house illuminate, cause I still don't like 'em or their stuff that is almost, but not quite, coffee.

(Afterthoughts)
We did sit outside, no way I would stay under their roof longer than necessary.

There's surely some point to this one

Blah blah, woke up this morning screaming, half rage and half terror from another nightmare. They haven't been happening as frequently as they used to (like every single freakin' night lol) and because of the loss of intimate familiarity they seem to punch just a shade harder now. Hooray. This one involved me dragging people into a safe house where they could hopefully hideout from a rampaging monster thing. Right before I woke up screaming I was heading for the door myself when a little furball of teeth and claws (aka a kitten) tore its way up my leg and back and threw itself against the door in abject terror. So I grabbed it (what the hell was I thinking, ouch, my poor skin) and tossed it inside the house. Of course I had to look behind me to see why it was so freaked out only to naturally find the monster thing lurking right behind me. Great, even my damn nightmares have turned cliche lol. So naturally this long tentacle with a large gaping mouth full of sharp teeth lunges straight at me (cliche cliche cliche) and I punched it, saving myself a nasty bite in exchange for some bloodied knuckles. As it backed away in shock I jumped straight at it landing a few good hits and kicks while it shrieked and flailed and bit at me. That was the point I finally woke up partly relieved after my screaming had stopped and partly still thirsting for blood (luckily I was sleeping alone lol.) Welcome to my world, please stay off the grass, it's difficult to regrow after monsters get their slime all over it. :)

(Afterthoughts)
As far as my dream, don't think I'm getting soft because I saved a kitten. In real life I would have tossed that little whirlwind of claws straight at the damn monster as soon as I could have ripped it out of its death hold on my skin. Best to open an attack on a monster with another one I always say lol.

Um, yuk?

I picked up a bucket of KFC Sunday and have been munching on that these past couple of days. The thing that still gets me about it even after all these years is an old comic book that I read when I was in high school. The issue I'm reminded of was based on 'cholesterol vampires' who would suck that out of your blood (and turn you into one of them.) Their victims of preference were those who had a high fat diet, and the vampires wandered around like zombies moaning stuff like "mmmm, chicken skin pudding," hence my remembrance every time I eat KFC. The thought of that still cracks me up today lol.

(Afterthoughts)
Ok, although 'chicken skin pudding' is a funny concept with the vampires, the thought of eating it does turn my stomach, blech, sometimes even I wonder just what the hell I was thinking when I started typing lol.

DIY fireball

Warning, this is not the safest thing y'all can do so for legal reasons I DO NOT recommend trying it. However just to 'explain' how such a thing is done, you simply melt a candle in a small jar/bucket on a heat source such a grill. When the candle is melted into liquid you simply add some water (do it quickly, seriously quickly) and you will have an instant fireball. Of course the more candle you use the bigger the fireball so if you are going to try this use a birthday cake candle first just as a trial for your own safety. Have fun. ;)



(Afterthoughts)
I ended up being too scared to try it, lol.

Email joke I got

INTERNATIONAL THINKING - AT ITS BEST!

QUESTION:What is the truest definition of Globalization?

ANSWER:Princess Diana's death.

QUESTION:How come?

ANSWER: An English Princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gate's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by a Mexican illegal.....

THAT my friends, is globalization!

(Afterthoughts)
I'm not touching this one.

4th events of holiday July style

To simply compress my holiday, I took my nephews (and sister) firework shopping, spent $200. I normally don't spend quite that much but it's hard not too when I have 2 little boys with me lol. I thought that I did the fireworks just for the 2 oldest boys but it turns out that I did a lot of it for the youngest one (1 1/2 yr. old). He sat in a high chair and smiled and laughed and clapped the whole time. Seeing him enjoy the fireworks and not get spooked by the explosions and just act sooo happy during the entire thing made every penny I spent worth it.

On the down side, not long after everything was over my stomach starting hurting, really really bad. The last week of vacation a while back I spent an entire week in pain, same deal, just not as long but just as bad. For those who missed out on that, I was leaning towards that assumption that my appendix may have burst a while back (that is how much pain my gut was in). But since I made a speedy recovery (took about a day) I can just block out how I was lying on the floor hating to even breathe since the tiniest movement racked my body in pain. Fun times, fun times. (Now go away memories of that lol.)

(Afterthoughts)
Um, ouch?

Little Girl on a Plane

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?' 'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow,and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

(Afterthoughts)
Bwahahaha, hell yeah!

Happy 4th of July eve everyone

I did my good deed of the day. My landlady and her boyfriend have a nice garden in my backyard and I've been taking photos of it every couple of days with my cell phone and emailing the pictures to myself for the past month. When they start picking all the food out of it I am going to make a slideshow dvd from the pictures. Since I went over and paid my rent today (about a week and a half early as I normally try to do) I burnt a quickly put together dvd using the pictures I have already taken. It wasn't very long but it was neat for them to see how much it has grown and gives them an idea of what the final dvd will look like, except I will add music and dates to the pictures.

I will be going to my mom's house tomorrow morning (I am supposed to go to a birthday party at the club tonight but considering my mood I doubt I will bother). My 2 oldest nephews are going to go firework shopping with me so I can set off a bunch of explosions. I may have to go ahead and drink some before I start the firework show because nothing goes better with alcohol than explosives (and firearms of course) lol.

(Afterthoughts)
Boom boom boom.

That time again, blah

Bad mood time, by which I mean, horrible @^&**# and %@!##* mood!!!! Holidays ALWAYS do this to me, I end up angry at everything and everyone, and I have almost no desire at all to even attempt to deal with anything. The worst part of it all is that it's an effect from my human half and my demoness side actually finds the root cause of this amusing (horrifying that people repeatedly cause this phenomenon, but still amusing.) I'm not even gonna bother to rant any more about the topic, it just sucks but should wear off early next week like usual once reality slides back to 'normal.'

(Afterthoughts)
Blech.