The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Let the "slay" bells ring

Today has not been a promising day for the tiny bit of humanity that I keep locked up and buried deep, deep inside of me just like how Scrooge kept his gold coins securely buried away (seasonally appropriate reference).

I am burning with such fury that I can melt a snowman into a puddle at 20 paces. They have not even invented terms for all the kinds of angry I am today!!! Luckily my mind is humming too damn fast to submit y'all to the blind redness dripping through my skull.

And it is all because of a shirt.

Yes, a God damn Fucking T-shirt.

Although to be more precise, it is due more to our world's degradation into tree hugging, ass kissing, calloused knees, cum drunk, politically correct, over sensitive, whiny little bitches who overachieve in only the single aspect of stripping down the world to it's most blandly lukewarm configuration that is as dangerous and terrifying as a sack of newborn kittens. Screw those motherfuckers and the horse they raped on their way into town. I HATE those worthless, childish games and dragging me to the table to join in and play my hands does not make me a happy girl in the slightest bit.

My favorite videogame shirt has a white mage from the original Final Fantasy on the front and proclaims a slogan on the back saying "guns don't kill people, magic missiles do." Amazing how that simple article of clothing which I have worn to work countless times suddenly became "inappropriate" enough overnight for my boss to be dragged into work on her day off for the incredibly complex task (that a roomfull of managers who were already there could apparently not do themselves) of informing me that because someone complained about a gun reference on my shirt (which promotes NOT using guns), that I have to submit humbly to censorship and turn my shirt inside out AND go home.

What the fucking hell is the deal with that shit. I don't know if I'm more impressed or more disturbed that someone managed to force their apron string entwined arm down far enough to remove the thumb from their mouth long enough to emit a high pitched shreek of a complaint against an imagined slight against their delusionally comfy pretend world.

<rant over with a sneer of disgust>

(Afterthoughts)
Why I cling to my last tattered shreads of humanity like a limpet to a wet rock is a very sad and wobbly thought which is extremely disturbing to contemplate.

6 comments:

Melissa said...

The world abounds with twits LizzyBeth. Just be thankful that you're not one of them.

Melissa XX

Amy K. said...

Not everybody can be as cool as us. They are to be pitied at best. If only they could read your blog. The sheer words alone would kill them. Jingle Hell, indeed. Muah ha ha ha!

(I'm allowed to be sweet and then evil... I'm a Gemini.)

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

My feelings were made quite clear and in light of that I am quite proud of those of you who stepped up to the plate and took your own swings. Viva la resistance.

Jeff said...

There are those out there who's lives are 'away from' motivated in a most unconstructive way, fear is something ever present in their shallow existence. Many times I, when in similar situations as yours, ask myself 'why fuck with the crazy guy?'. Something is very wrong with their strategy.
It wasn't an inappropriate shirt, they want inappropriate how about a shirt with a fake holiday product advertisement 'Nothing warms me up like a hot Dickens Cider at Christmas time'. Liz, we have seen dumb people before and even if you ask where in the employee handbook it says you can't, it will not change the fact they are stupid and will never get it. Since they are forever dumb you could say another are wearing 'gang colors' and demand it be taken care of, if you understand their model of the world then you move them around easier. Or look into Darkside NLP

Anonymous said...

Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

@ Anon
This is just me ranting about whatever grabbed my attention for the day in my own unique wording phrases. No need for a writer to be payed under the table for something I already excel at doing myself.