Brain Slug

For those who do not have me on Facebook (don't worry, you are not alone, I axed 160+ people a few weeks ago) this is my current profile picture. I managed to get this snapshot of my brainslug before it exploded after making the mistake of attaching itself to my mind. I'm going to be picking slimy tentacle out of my hair for a week, and while that may be erotic in an anime/porn type way (nobody beats the Japanese for casually presented weirdness) it is quite less pleasant in real life.



(Afterthoughts)
A less pleasant reality does not necessarily make the fantasy itself pleasant by default, but anyways, I guess someone must like that sort of stuff otherwise it wouldn't be so damn popular, right?!?

MCMLXXIV

Three years shy of four decades ago a legend was birthied upon this great grand land of America. Even as a child she stood spittin' distance from a mile tall and wandered this wide land far and, um, wide, with her giant blue ox Babe planted apple trees in every state (except Alaska and Hawaii because they were inconvenient to walk to), stole a chunk of glacier from Canada to make the ice sculpture of four leader's heads for the blueprint rough draft of Mt. Rushmore (which melted before they finished the monument and had to leave off the bitchin' fighting dragons that made up the background), taught sharks how to swim up the Mississippi River in order to fight with alligators for her amusement, traumatized the firefly species so badly that they lost their nerve to stay lit up and could only nervously blink flash their light forever afterwards, and wore boxing gloves made of live piranhas to every gun fight she was challenged to and subsequently won because anyone tough enough to to wear those is not bothered by eating a few bullets to win a fight right before being crowned the beauty pageant winner.

Her name is Elizabeth Amber Sheetz, born on Mother's Day, May 12th, 1974, and turns 37 today. Wish her a Happy Birthday .... if you dare, MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(Afterthoughts)
Um, what more could I possibly add at this point and still remain humble and modest...

Card Games

The cardsharp pony always had an ace up her sleeve while winning chips against the poker playing dogs and never broke a sweat staying cool as a cucumber being Secret dry which works great on women whom it was made for and with which it's effectiveness is obvious since it also worked so well on a horse.

(Afterthoughts)
I had that thought running through my mind when I woke up in the middle of the night and it was interesting enough for me to scribble down on the notepad I leave beside my bed. Still is random nonsense however.

Bootleg Bootylicious

If you can't afford the delicious goodness of a PS3 then here is your cheaper alternative. It looks just like a Dr. Evil tiny clone version and I want one just because it is cute even if it is virtually unplayable.



(Afterthoughts)
By cheaper I meant that you should just grab the cash out of your purse and set it on fire because the flames will give you more entertainment and enjoyment than playing that game will, er, or so I have heard...

Jackpot

Now the title does not mean that I won the lottery (unfortunately) because like the ads say, "y'all gotta play ta win." What it does refer to however, is a game the middle child nephew (2 of 3) invented. It is a ball catching game that takes at least 3 people to play (rules to follow shortly).

The player configuration for everyone to be located is with the ball thrower to be at the apex of a triangle shape with the potential catchers at the base. Before tossing the ball, he must yell out a couple of variables. First is either 'high' or 'ground,' meaning that it will be in the air or rolled along the ground (simple). Next is 'mystery box,' 'points,' or 'jackpot.' The points are essentially arbitrary, but the mystery box (which is the most often chosen) has 2 results which are not revealed unless the ball is caught which are 'mummy' and 'glue shoes.' Mummy means that for the next round you have to hold your arms straight out in front you, palms up, with your arms stuck together and have to try to catch the ball like that (which is rather hard from personal experience). Glue shoes means that your feet are stuck to the floor for the next round and you can not move from the spot where you caught the ball. Now if you catch the 'jackpot,' that means that you are now the jackpot which is what the ball thrower is called and now you toss the ball and decide what the ball value and prize is going to be.

All in all, not too bad of a game for an 8 year old to invent.

(Afterthoughts)
Stop sitting around, go grab a ball and 2 people and start playing!!!

Game Break

I've been sick as hell for the past couple of weeks so since I don't feel like writing much when I am sick, here are video reviews of the weird (really really weird) video game I bought to entertain myself while my body heals like a good little bitch.





(Afterthoughts)
I guess to get the whole story you have to play the game through 3 times, or just look up the answers online.

Is It Really A New Year???....

In a sense it is not a new year as much as it is in a more conventional sense. By which I mean that when you spy a calendar the date has changed over to 2011 from 2010, but if you consider the actual chronological meaning of the time frame of a year, then for most of you it is not. For a new year to start in the more real sense, that would actually occur upon your birthday since another year of clock time has passed when reaching that point. This is just simply calendar time which we have clicked over on now.

Now there is a tradition that occurs at this time which I strongly disapprove of called "new year's resolutions." If you have fallen pray to making such a thing, I feel sorry for you because they are pure rubbish. My reasoning for that description is not because they are worthy changes to make in one's life, but I see them as such for a more valid line of reasoning.

If you have an important change to make in your life, then you just simply need to make it. Waiting until a new calendar year begins is nothing more than a form of procrastination and an excuse to signify the change with an arbitrary date. Everyone has stuff they want to change about themselves unless they are a megalomaniac, so why not start right away at fixing that instead of using the excuse of waiting for January 1st. That is a two-fold excuse since it is common knowledge that most resolutions eventually fail from people not following through with them. By setting such an important life improving decision at that particular date, you have given yourself an excuse for failing since they are not taken seriously and defeated yourself before even giving it a real chance to succeed.

Granted that there are stories from people that you know who managed to pull off their new year goal, but those are grossly overshadowed by the number of people you can personally point out who have utterly given up and failed in the exact same circumstance. When you are ready to make a change to your life, there is no better time than then to do so, and if you are not, then saying that you are just because of the date in the year has doomed you to failure before you even start.

(Afterthoughts)
Don't give in to the pressure to attempt to commit to a change you are not ready for because when you do, you are simply conditioning yourself to accept failure and a sense that you can not change for the better when you really are capable of doing so when the time is right and not just because you had to buy a new calendar.