Politically incorrect festival

Apparently they have what is known as a "pride festival" going on in my state capital this weekend. Being brimming with pride in my own overflowing awesomeness, it would seem like the ideal place for me to go to expand my massive infamy. However, I discovered, luckily before I made the drive, that they used "pride" in an entirely alternate meaning. And when I say "alternate," I really mean the fabulously decorated type of alternate. Turns out that pride is actually rather gay, and I mean that in the literal sense. Not really the best place for a common as dirt, poorly dressed, straight girl to go wandering off into. Especially when she is half-demoness and half-Amazonian which could very easily cause me to be mistaken as some type of big burly dominating lesbian (other than the bulging muscles which I totally lack along with completely zero desire of sexual interest in other women). I love my gay and lesbian friends, but purely in a platonic way and plan on it staying that way.

So in honor of the hardships and trials of lifestyles of my friends who swing to a much more fabulous beat, here is a rainbow for y'all.



(Afterthoughts)
If you wish to read about the unfairness of a rainbow being used as a symbol for alternative lifestyles (did anyone ask it if it wanted to be that type of symbol???), Tannerleah did a wonderful post on that subject titled "Why Do Rainbows Have To Be Gay?" which you all should go read right this instant.

Poop Freeze

In yet another truth is stranger than fiction story, I ran across this legitimate product for sale. Poop Freeze. At the top of the screen it has a picture of a smiling dog head wearing sunglasses with a caption bubble saying, none the less, "Just frost & toss!"

Their official advertise goes as such (thanks to the wonderful and magical world of "cut and paste").

POOP-FREEZE™ is an emergency pet product that every pet owner should have. Just keep it under the sink for those occasions in which your pet has diarrhea or loose stool. Poop Freeze is ideal for new pet owners as their pets are learning the basics of potty training. Poop Freeze is also great for seasoned pet owners whose pets occasionally make a mess in the house. Poop Freeze is safe to use both on carpet and vegetation. Just Frost & Toss with Poop Freeze.

Poop Freeze "frosts" poop in order to make it easier to pick-up. This frosting gets rid of most smells right away. All sales are final.

Why stop there? It would be great for little kids as well. Or how about poor old grandpa and his embarrassing little problem, the solution is in the can (so to speak).

I'm sure it would great fun at parties as well: no need to buy a ball for the kids to play with, just provide a high fiber meal and before you know it you can dress all the kids up in monkey suits and let them go wild, and all without the unsightly mess.

Care about the environment, then take sculpture to an all new level, or even carve dolls for the younglings to play house with. Oh boy Barbie, smells like Ken needs a bath, ha ... ha ... ha.

Makes an even better prank for the neighbors too: just imagine the laughs when they go to stomp out that flaming paper bag only to fracture their foot when they slam their arch on top of it. The laughs as y'all reminiscence about that will last for a lifetime.

I am just wondering why y'all are still reading this instead of ordering it before supplies run out.

(Afterthoughts)
Those damn dirty apes. (I may have just sunk to an all time low with this post, sheesh).

Cupid had a heart attack

Nothing like reminiscing about former love.



(Afterthoughts)
It was the last story that made the entire episode. Kinda reminds me of what people look like when I start talking.

5 year old's first job

I would once again like to think Mr. Jeff for providing me with yet another post via email story.

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

(Afterthoughts)
Sort of reminds me of myself at that age although I had a doll for an administrative assistant.

inFamous

The review of my current video game which is sucking away my sleep like a greedy cholesterol vampire locked away in a chicken skin pudding factory.



(Afterthoughts)
Ironic that I was planning on doing the good character until later on just to screw with the npc's.

Asleep at the wheel

Um, just ignore the dates next to my postings [these are not the droids you are looking for] etc... I have been recently neglecting things here and the cobwebs and dust are building up and I promise that I intend to remedy that soon. Honestly, between work and school and writing for my mystery side project which I refuse to ever discuss on here (um, other than just now apparently), time has been scarce. Factor in that I have a new video game (Infamous) y'all can understand the oversight. See ya soon.

(Afterthoughts)
Really, that is the entire post. It is like getting to the bottom of the cereal box only to discover that the toy had gotten broken into several jagged pieces and most likely quite a few of the chunks had gotten eaten. Not really the best surprise one can hope for even though technically is does qualify as one hell of a surprise (and maybe a visit to the hospital).