Sometimes my demonic pride gets the best of even me. One of my best friends in the world who is also my roommate (but not for much longer) got into a screaming match over something totally foolish and silly (and I can't even remember exactly what it was over now). But simply put, we are now going our separate ways and only talking through short and to the point text messages. We have both been rather stressed out lately and although that is always a poor excuse that doesn't stop angry words from being said either. The sad thing is that we are more than capable of making amends with each other and he even did try to do that after I locked myself crying in my room. But of course that would have relied on me being willing to listen which I am too damn stubborn and prideful to bother doing. So we are splitting apart into different directions and are both losing a very good and important friend in the process. Life hurts even more when it doesn't really have to hurt at all.
(Afterthoughts)
I should swallow my pride and reach back out to him but my pride tastes horrible and I can surely find something better to go into my mouth. At least I get to withdraw from the world for a while now.
7 comments:
Get yer pride swallowed Liz...don't taste too bad :-)
xxxx
Liz, honey..
It's not really a matter of swallowing one's pride.
It's just a matter of balance.
When I used to get in rows like that, I'd stop for a while then ask myself if the issue is really worth losing a good friend over.
99.99% of the time, the answer was No.
Hugs
chrissie
xxxxx
I have few enough friends to do that! They are so hard to come by! I did what you have done to one person but then again they had upped and gone with choice posessions, all our money and a new job 500 miles away. when they tried to get in touch again last year after 30 years i became a half demoness for a while and told them what to do with themselves. Did I do well?
Caroline XXX
Maybe you could eat crow or humble pie instead. Biting the head off a crow might be fun for a demoness.
Seriously, bite the bullet and reach out. Your human half needs a friend.
Liz, it sounds to me that you both have developed some negative anchors (anchoring is the conditioning of a mental/emotional state to a unique stimuli). Let me guess, as your friendship deepened you would talk at length about all the pain and problems in your past and present while looking at each other directly (anchoring the pain to the sight of them) now you just seem to get angry or feeling hurt for some unknown reason (Thats the stimuli pulls the state back, think pavilovs bell). First things first, lets start the work with you. Think now of a bad event that happened between you two and see yourself in the picture from a third person perspective, disassociating from the event and let it fade away, now think of a good event, associate to the good one, see what you saw hear what you heard feel what you felt. Make the good event as detailed and rich in the way you perceive it, be in the memory as yourself. keep dissassociating bad and associating the good. Make a new rule with each other to talk only about the good when you are facing and can only talk about the bad when at an angle of 150 to 90 degrees. this should help keep you from anchoring to them the bad. special note: touching is better if your in a good state, remember what you want to anchor.
Yes yes, I found out my pride has a rather bitter brimstone taste to it with just a surprising hint of mint as well. He is like a little brother to me so I couldn't ignore him for long without feeling a piece of my heart suffocating. We are talking again which makes me happy and hopeful that we will remain friends. For a human he tends towards some of my own demonic traits which is why we probably got along in the first place and why our fight was so harsh.
I never realized how dangerous a bag of kittens could be until I fought him ;)
...what all of the others said...but I guess you did.
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