Screw the cells

For those of you who follow the cell phone feature trends, AT&T is releasing 2 brand new options this week. Oh, btw, when I say "brand new" I really mean they are finally getting around to offering services that other wireless carriers have already been offering for a long enough time period for a guy to grow an ankle length beard.

Slated for release on 09/20/2009 (or today for those who overlooked this postings date stamp) is something called the "A-list" which is nothing more than a long requested and long denied service of the now "old shoe" favorite list. Innovation knows no bounds for such an original idea. Color me less than impressed that they will now allow their customers to setup a list of a handful of phone numbers that they can call for free even if it is during their 15 hours of daily standard weektime daytime hours (at least they were smart enough to realize that weekends should be free).

Next, on 09/25/2009, is something that those who made the mistake of buying an iphone have most likely been painfully aware of the past few years: picture messages. Send a picture message to an iphone and what they actually receive is a text message with a link to a website where they can sometimes view that picture, and if they cannot get the picture to load (even odds) then you have managed to just waste 15 minutes of their life which they will never be able to get back. The fact that I am missing out on causing that annoyance to people does make me a bit sad because if I knew someone who had an iphone that mistakenly trusted me enough to give me their number, I would picture message the hell out of them simply for that reason alone. But alas, the self indulged zombies at Apple are finally releasing a software update for "the world's most advanced phone" which after several years of hard R&D and testing will allow iphones to send and receive picture messages just like the most basic $20 prepaid Go-Phone is capable of doing. All you will have to do is hook your iphone up to your icomputer via an icable and use your imouse to open itunes and install the isoftware iupdate (which was apparently created through some type of iritual which may or may not have involved iknives, premature dying ianimals, frightening and hastily drawn chalky isymbols, and oodles of iblood). After that has been completed then all you will have to do is call AT&T to talk to a frustrated and flusted customer service rep and scream at them for still not being able to properly send your friend (who lives next door and could more easily walk over and see the picture on your phone) the picture of your cat doing something which you think is award winning cute but everyone else finds lame and tiring enough to consider leaving a tasty bowl of antifreeze on their back porch as a "gift" for the overlooked talent master of looking at a camera with common animal stupidity.

(Afterthoughts)
Yes, I said your baby is stupid but when you start equating animals with humans then you are one step away from being willing to have sex with an animal. Hey, if it can be a human's babay then it had to come from somewhere, I can do the math bitches.