The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Self Service

I must be getting old. I remember when you used to be able to go to a store and they would have a cashier (hell, I used to be one in high school at a drug store and split the week doing that with another girl in my school) who would look at the item to be purchased, punch the price of said item which was gained from the price tag sticker that was stuck on the item into the cash register, and add up your bag of goodies that caught yonder fancy that particular day. Then, because those registers were kinda sucky, you had to do some quick mental math to make change, which you learned to do rather quickly (using a few simple tricks). But nowadays, when you go to buy something they just have a "good faith" monitor watching a group of self service checkout lanes. So not only do I have to do the stores job, but I have to pay them for making me do all the work as well.

WTF!?! If I am saving a store money by doing their glamorous job of part-time cashier then why the hell do I not get some kind of extra discount incentive to do so. Seriously, why would anyone bother ringing up their own purchases (unless they are, um, cough cough, scamming the place) when they can take it easy and just stand and watch someone do that for them instead (which also helps keep their job secure) for the exact same cost. I swear that if I ran a shop of some kind I would just have to promote that nice little detailed fact:

"Come on down to Liz's second hand soul pawn shop where for our valued customer's convenience we have people to assist you with processing your purchases at no additional cost. That is right people, you heard me correctly, the cashier's at our wonderful and humble lil shop are a free service we provide to you for your personal convenience. So be sure to take advantage of that when y'all shimmy on over and give us a visit."

Now the reason I got angry today is due to when I was unable to pay my electric bill online due to it being a closed account since it is the final bill from the apartment. No way in hell to register it and get it setup to make online payments. Trust me, I wasted a good hour trying to find some computer logic loophole which would allow me to process that transaction via the majical computer box. So since I hate writing checks, I resigned myself to making a payment over the phone. Mindlessly punching buttons in the IVR system to get to a payment option, it finally rises out of the dark ocean of choices for me to spear with a desperate button mash. Instead of getting a live person, I get a damn computer that has me punch in my account number, card number, social security number, address, mother's maiden name, city I was born in, date I lost my first tooth, blood type, and a defining DNA marker in hexadecimal code, only to then be informed that she was "sorry Dave" (damn, drifted there for a minute), um, oh yeah, that there will be a $3.50 convenience fee added to my payment. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and whoa! I do not pay companies for the convenience of not having to deal with me, especially when I am doing their job for them!!! So I pressed 7-3-3-4-3-f-5-c-*-cue ball-3-8 -000-q or whatever the hell crazy option it was to cancel my payment. Then I hung up and called straight back into the IVR system and navigated my way through the deep and dark forest jungle of options and stalked my way to a live person in the billing department because if I am going to pay an extra $3.50 then someone is damn well going to process that payment for me and chat with me a little bit about whatever the hell I can trick them into talking about so that I feel like I at least got something for my money, even if it was overpriced, unsatisfying, and not something that I would recommend for a leisure activity.

(Afterthoughts)
Granted that my company charges $5 for making a payment over the phone with a live person but that is because it is to encourage people to process it themselves which avoids that fee. Getting charged for using a self-service option defeats the entire purpose of self-service and I am seeing more and more companies that seem to be forgetting that valuable bit of procedure.

10 comments:

Amy K. said...

I haven't yet been to any stores where they don't at least have one real cashier on duty. My fiancee loves to go the self-serve line. Me, I can't stand dealing with those jabbering machines (and that's coming from a techie!). People need jobs, not machines... so I personally avoid the machines and go to a cashier. Maybe if a lot of people go to that one cashier on duty... they'll open another register! Another human being will get paid... can you believe it? Imagine if that becomes a trend in today's economy...? Nah!

Melissa said...

I use the self check out option sometimes at the grocery store, mainly because I like to pack my own groceries. I can get all of my groceries logically packed in two brown paper bags, with all the cold and frozen stuff in one bag, and everything else neatly packed in the other, with hard and heavy stuff on the bottom, and soft and light stuff on the top. When I let the clerk bag it, if I don't specify paper bags, I get 20 of those infernal little plastic bags, with 3 or 4 items in each, and everything illogically mixed. Cans on top of meat, fruit, cold and frozen things mixed in with boxes and cans and scattered throughout the bags, etc. And even if I ask for paper, I still get four or five bags with a jumbled mix in them, and have to empty the bags and repack everything out in the parking lot, before loading it in the car.

Lizzie, doesn't the bank that holds your checking account, allow you to access your account on line, and enter a payment to any payee, from your account? Mine does, and that's a great way to pay bills that don't have an on line payment option. You just enter the right information, and the bank sends them a check drawn on your account.

Melissa XX

Calie said...

You are a feisty girl, aren't you? Remind me never to get on your bad side.....um, that would be side(s).

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

@ Amy
Late at night they do not actually have live cashiers at a lot of the stores here, just a babysitter for the self checkouts.

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

@ Melissa
My bank charges for that service and if I wanted to send a check I am capable of writing one out myself, I just prefer not doing that.

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

@ Calie
Thanks for the newsflash. Actually, there might still be a couple of noobs to my blog who haven't quite figured that out yet, MUHAHAHAHA.

Leslie Ann said...

I rather like the self checkout kiosks, being a half misanthrope. I don't like to deal with people I don't know. Plus if I'm picking up pantyhose or bleach creme or some such, I'd just as soon not get the look.

Lucie G said...

Self service tills were invented by the devil I'm sure. There are scales by the bags which are hyper sensitive and throw a strop if that item does not weigh exactly the amount its been programmed to. As for trying to enter fruit or correcting a mistake, forget it. They also seem to be windows based so the BSOD and other crashes come along frequently meaning half are not working.

They want everything I guess in a few years I'll have to put on a staff uniform and stock the shelves myself as well soon.

Lucy x

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

@ Leslie
But that misses the chance to say to the snotty teen girl at the register that you used to look like her at that age and she will see the value of these items in a few years, resulting in a horrified look from her if ya do it right.

@ Lucy
I think he also invented child-proof bottles and spill-proof cups. Bet you could use that cute uniform for other things than stocking shelves (go team multi-task).

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