Step Right Up And Spin The Wheel

Those of you who keep up with the latest fashions, er, newsy tech stuff, have probably heard about chatroulette! For everyone else, here is what is going on beyond the underside of your rock.

First off, you need a webcam. Check. Then what happens is next is setup preschool simple. You get randomly matched with someone else on the site, you see each other via webcam and can text or even speak (mic not included) if you are setup with that extra piece of equipment. The only options you have as far as choosing whom you are matched with is ending the current pick & jumping to the next random one. Definitely a neat concept, you don't even get a handle, the chatting page lists yourself as "you" and your new friend as "stranger." It is cut down to the bare bones basics, and that is one of the things that makes it work.

Now for the downside. There are no buddy lists, but again, that's not what this is about. Should you strike up a connection with someone that you want to stay in touch with then trade emails, IM handles, hell even your phone numbers, just whatever. Then there is the problem that you have already guessed at, penis exhibition. You are gonna see more floppy penis than a gay bathhouse, which makes the "one click" escape to the next horror, er, interesting person a very welcome standard feature. Granted that a setup like this is gonna bring the icky perverts oozing outta the woodwork so try to avoid this site while your 4 year old is sitting on your lap.

After a couple of hours on it I realized that my prediction for the site was 100% accurate. You skip past a few floppies here and there, a lot of people axed me within 5 seconds because I wasn't sitting there in my bra (or less), most of the conversations run the same boring introduction gauntlet we became weary of years ago when required to make small talk with a stranger we don't really have any interest in speaking with in the first place, then you hit the occasional gem where conversation just clicks and before you can exchange a method of communication for later on the new glitchy program bugs out on you and you are left wondering when the hell that brick wall jumped out in front of you.

All in all, even with it's darkside it found it's nick and I hope it hangs around for the times that I want to just have some brief random chats that won't strain the fluff in me head.

(Afterthoughts)
I quickly discovered to keep a phrase saved on my clipboard for right-click/ paste convenience, "Awwwww, it's sooo tiny that it's cute! You must be proud to have a third pinky finger growing out of you leg ;)"

Sharpen My Claws

Finally broke down and gave in and went and got my claws done. Turned out pretty nice and I am rather pleased with myself for finally taking the time to git-r-done.



(Afterthoughts)
Now I get the fun job of reconfiguring and tweaking out my dexterity. Hopefully I'll get a good roll from the dice.

Write Your Name In The Snow

Lip Balm is supposedly a rated G product. You see it everywhere, in stores, restaurants, kiosks, vending machines, gas stations, truck stops, and even your child's school. It comes in many different friendly colors and flavors, seductively enticing us with it's kiss of {such & such popular generic flavor} or even a well know cartoon character. The noble purpose was originally to provide an occlusive layer on the lip surface to seal moisture in lips and protect them from the external exposure of dry air, cold temperatures and wind's drying effect on skin as they draw moisture out of the body.

I-R-O-N-I-C ... or is it just a twisted scheme to subtlety condition us to other, more uncommon products. Originally the first lip balm was made out of actual earwax, which although functional, lacked a certain popularity due to it's taste. That should have been an early warning sign that things would turn much, much darker.

Now on to snow. Light, fluffy, and just plain outright delicious. Infamous for playing a vital part in the old fashioned "lemon snow cone" prank that while appearing enticing will just leave you addicted to mouthwash. Once merely the schoolyard domain of immature boys, it now can be for immature girls as well...

Don't take life sitting down... but for this amazing breakthrough you actually should just for safety. It is GoGirl, the dishwasher friendly (just toss in next to your plates & sporks) medical grade silicone way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. Is that a FUD in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? GoGirl fits easily in your purse, pocket, glove compartment, or even your lover's mouth. As they say... You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one. And... and ... um ... um .... hmmmm

Damn, I hate when I have such a golden opportunity splashed in my lap and I just can't decide which way to run off giggling like a madgirl twisting the perspective on it and giving it a couple of good shakes before we just zip it away back into hiding. Ahh, let's just call it a day and enjoy the relief of not having to hold this one in any longer and now that I have flushed it out of my system I can get back to more mature topics as I sit here with the lingering traces of concentration on my face.

(Afterthoughts)
Hee hee, I'm still giggling about the snow writing title gag.

<^_^>

Veins for sale

Per popular demand for more pictures of lovely me, here y'all go. At my visit with the vampires (selling plasma) they kinda messed up a wee little bit and blew my vein. I still pulled off a good donation without having to be re-pierced but you can see the results from Saturday. It should be fine soon and is only a little bit sore but still looks horrible.

(Afterthoughts)
I think bruise purple would make a nice nail polish color.

V-Day

Ah yes, such a wonderful and romantic day filled with flowers and candy (I likey the candy) and heart touching cards, um, and then I woke up.

Being the single girl that I am who also happens to be a gamer girl too, I spent this V-Day playing videogames at eBash. They had a free facebook day if you rsvp which means no charge to get into the coolest and awesomeness gamer club. There were a lot of guys there and only a couple of girls which drives home the point that cliches become cliches for a very good reason. But I had a good time and sadly being in a gamer club on a computer surrounded by guys who were more interested in the pixels on their monitors than the shortness of my skirt, this still ranks as one of my all-time best Valentines Days.

(Afterthoughts)
Luckily I have that half-demoness thing going on and can flash Cupid my slitted-eye glare letting him know that I am considering using one of his arrows as a spit for my Cupid bar-b-que.

Give the girls a good home

Ok, ok, this is a problem all of us girls have (no, not THAT one) with the moody and temperamental washing/dryer machines. Not only are they infamous in their pursuit of the rare delicacy of those tasty missing socks, but another less publicized harassment they churn on us is the "cops on the redneck's lawn at 2am to hear how she 'fell into a doorknob'" type abuse our bras go through in those vandalizing machines.

Since I rarely watch TV I undoubtedly missed this gem when it crossed the late night infomercial scene, but happened to run across it in Wal-Mart (our holy redneck heaven). I speak of none other than the esteemed Bra Baby. I honestly could go on about how clever and resourceful and much needed such a product is but to save time just watch this quick demo video instead and let yourself be the judge & jury on this trial.

(Afterthoughts)
I bought a single one at the store for $5 so check the local retails before ordering online.

Moralistic Testy Thingy

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.


Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.




YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS....................




The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'




Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.




Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'





HOWEVER......, My correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because Obama's health care won't pay for her, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.




God, I just love happy endings!




Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box... Like a Half-Demoness.'

(Afterthoughts)
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Behold The Stupid!

As a special treat and personal favor to me, Pandora has written a guest rant. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the rant-a-licious vibes from one of my favorite meddling kids from across the sea in Grand ole England.

I'm on the front-line at work. Often the first person a visitor sees or speaks to is me. As such I see a lot of the stupid. And so many times its the same brand of stupid.

Some days it's all I can do not to scream a stream of sarcastic British invective back at them.

Case in point - The No Clue Brigade

Customer - Hi. I'm here for a meeting.
Me - Hello. Who are you here to see?
Customer - Dunno
Me - OK. What is the interview about?
Customer - Dunno. Some course
(Dream me - Oh that's good. We only run THIRTEEN DIFFERENT FUCKING COURSES HERE! Shall I presume you're here for the Basic Skills for Fuckwits course?)
Real me - Do you have the letter we sent you?
Customer - Didn't get a letter
(Dream me - Yes you fucking did! I wrote it, signed it and posted it you lying fuck!)
Me - Right... Can I take your name then?
Customer - mumble mumble
Me - *phones around all the department heads until someone has heard of him*
Me - Miss X will see you shortly. Please take a seat
Customer - That's the name! Miss X!
(Dream me - SHO-RYU-KEN! Pandora Wins! Fatality!)

And that's when they are even in the right place

Customer - Hi. I'm here to see Mr Z
Me - I'm sorry, we don't have a Mr Z. Are you sure that was the right name?
Customer - I think so. Mr Z at Made-up College.
(Dream me - Does the sign on the door say Made-up College? Does it? No! It says *Company Name* you fuckwit!)
Real me - I think you are at the wrong place. We are *Company Name*
Customer - Oh! Where is Made-up college then?
(Dream me - Tell you what, I'll just stop the incredibly important job I'm doing to run a Googlemaps search for you yeah?)
Me - *Gives directions. Which isn't easy, as we are nowhere near it*
Customer - Oh. Thanks.

Timesheets are another personal favourite of mine. Or rather, the angry parent of a student about timesheets. It usually goes like this.

Angry Parent - My daughter hasn't been paid for 5 weeks!
(Dream me - Boo-hoo)
Real me - Ok. What is her n....
Angry Parent - What are you going to do about it?
Real me - *deep breath* What is her name?
Angry Parent - Ann Nonymous
Me - Lets check the computer system
*looks at the database*
Me - Hmmm. yes you're right. Has Ann handed in her timesheets?
Angry Parent - Yes!
Me - OK. Let me look in the pending tray
*Finds five weeks of timesheets with a received date stamp of yesterday*
Me - Your daughter only handed in the last five weeks timesheets on Thursday. Yesterday.
Angry Parent - So. Why weren't they paid?
Me - Payroll is run on Wednesdays.
Angry Parent - *silence as the gears click into place*
Me - *waits pateintly*
Embarrassed Parent - She didn't tell me that part... sorry...
(Dream me - And so you fucking should be you obnoxious arse!)
Real me - That's OK. Thanks for your call.

This is closely related to:

Customer - Why haven't I been paid?
Me - Lets check *spends ten minutes consulting both payroll computer systems* This says we authorised your payment on Monday this week.
Customer - So why haven't I been paid?
Me - Your money should arrive on a Thursday. That's today.
Customer - But it wasn't in my bank when I checked at 8:30am
(Dream me - Because the bank wasn't open then. You get paid ON Thursday. IT IS STILL THURSDAY YOU FUCKING MORON!)
Real me - It's still Thursday
Customer - Huh?
Me - You get paid some time on Thursday. Today is still Thursday. It isn't over yet. You will get paid when the bank processes it later today.
Customer - Oh!

... and relax.

You know, having a rant *is* very theraputic. Love and Peace people :)

Fire in the hole

Stuff moved into new apartment. Check.
Computers set up and running properly. Check.
Internet service transferred to new lair. Check.
Apartment organized. In Progress.

Things are almost up and going in the new secret lair and once the base is activated I will have some more stories to tell. Like the case of the missing laptop (spoiler: I recovered it from the thief) or the unemployment woes or maybe a topical rant on changing tires... who knows what crazy surprises are in store for you, the dedicated and much loved viewer who brightens my day with sunshiny comments and rainbow kisses. Gonna go put on some girlie music and start the housework. Hugs for y'all.

(Afterthoughts)
Estrogen levels way too high. Check.

just a test

test blog